Great. Look Where I'm Going

Rednecks
Circle I Limbo

Hipsters
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

The Pope
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

NAMBLA Members
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Saddam Hussein
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

General asshats
Circle VII Burning Sands

Libertarians, George Bush, Republicans, Creationists
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Back to the Self-Discovery

Activities, objects, and situations I use to escape reality:

Television
Books
Writing
Internet
Neopets
Livejournal
Powerpets
Walks
Romantic Relationships
Eating
Long Hot Baths

What I hope to get from these things:

Distraction
Connection
Certainty
Stability
Comfort
Familiarity
Routine
Structure
Anesthesia
Fulfillment
Acceptance
Control
Love
Entertainment

Cyber Wanderer

Wanna know how stupid I am? I was cleaning out my Hotmail account today, and re-discovered a folder full of all Josh's emails. Every last one he ever sent me. And I was dumb enough to read them. It was sad because most of them were just so affectionate. Back when I was at school he would send me the sweetest emails with X's and O's typed on them, telling me I was pretty and all that other good stuff. I wonder where all that affection went? I wonder what I did to make it go away. He said he didn't feel anything. Well he was FEELING something back in MAY!!!

Maybe it was just another "I need someone and, hey look, you're here," kind of scenario. Maybe he liked having a someone to act that way with back while he was stressing over school, but now that he's out, he just doesn't need it anymore.

I'm tired of being all reflective. I don't feel every reflective at the moment. I have all these notes reminding me of things I want to ruminate upon in my journal, and they just aren't inspiring me right now. I don't want to write about how anger hides fear, or how depressives are incapable of living in the moment, or how letting go of desire doesn't mean letting go of attachment. All of it sounds horribly trivial to me ears. Not that my love lorn ramblings are any LESS trivial. I'm just not in the right frame of mind to write objectively.

I'm very self-involved right now. Wanna talk about me me me me me. I've been online all night. Cyber space is so empty. There's nothing out there. No one to talk to, no games to play. I've exhausted all of my favorite websites including livejournal. I don't know what to do with myself and...whoa my heart just did something..weird. I think it sped up and I just got really dizzy. Strange. Hope I'm not dying. That would suck...to a certain degree. But I think after I died I'd get over it.

Everyone is doing it

Ah, the latest LJ craze, filling out surveys about your friends. Okay people get to it. Tell self-indulgent Carla all about herself.

1. When\How did we meet?
2. Have we ever met in person & have we hung out?
3. What was your first impression of me?
4. How often do we talk?
5. Have you ever seen me cry?
6. Have you ever seen me dance?
7. Have you ever seen me in my underwear?
8. If you could spend a day with me, what would we do?
9. Have we ever gotten in a fight?
10. If we did get into a fight, would I win?
11. If you could give me a gift, what would it be?
12. If no one was around, what would YOU say about ME?
13. If no one was around, what would I say about YOU?
14. Would you hug me?
15. Would you kiss me?
16. What major thing do we have in common?
17. What is my best feature?
18. What is my worst feature?
19. What colour looks best on me?
20. Have you ever made me laugh/have I ever made you laugh?
21. Describe me using four or fewer words:

Another Day, Another Interview

Just got back from my interview at Nutmeg Recording. I'm pretty sure I didn't get the job. My interviewer just seemed extraordinarily unimpressed with me. Half way through the interview it finally dawned on me that I have no idea how to sell myself. My resume is sorely lacking so it's not like I have any special skills. In a revolving door of job applicants I just don't stand out in any way, and I don't know how to make myself.

If I could somehow make myself...stick out maybe I'd land a job. But not the one I just interviewed for. Damn shame cause it looked like it would be a fun place to work. *sigh* Guess I'll have to call PLaza College when I'm done typing and set up and interview with them. If at first (or second or third...) you don't succeed...

Morrigirl's Life

My LiveJournal Sitcom
morrigirl's Life (CBS, 10:30): morrigirl (Billy Crudup) makes lots of money playing guitar on the street and makes leopardqueen (Dean Martin) jealous. Later that day, ninquark (Laura Bertram) draws a picture on satinalien (Jon Favreau)'s forehead. That same day, violetcloud (Buster Keaton) can't find kily (Vivien Leigh)'s PDA and pretends it was never missing. Meanwhile, jaxfdrama (David Carradine) paints evilight (Monica Bellucci)'s plate orange. Also, afraidofliving (Cybill Shepherd) and jeiry (Leonard Nimoy) raise canarys. TV-MA.
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)

OR

My LiveJournal Sitcom
Visiting morrigirl (CBS, 10:30): morrigirl (Billy Crudup) marries afraidofliving (Cybill Shepherd)'s grandmother. Later that day, altrocks (Candice Bergen) misinterprets an email from kily (Vivien Leigh) and tries to get into the office for free. Then, eeyorescorner (Tara Reid)'s new shirt bleeds in the wash and stains all of dpsycho (Keenen Ivory Wayans)'s underwear pink. The week after, agreenballoon (Robert Patrick) decides to run for city council, but thespiafair (Kate Hudson) refuses to help. That night, palejewel (Jackie Chan) nixes satinalien (Jon Favreau)'s picnic plans. Everyone learns a valuable lesson.
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)

Or I could be Wrong.

Okay I've always known my intuition sucked, but this is very surprising. I just got this email from the lady who interviewed me today.

"hey carla,

it was great meeting you today. i would love to have you come back, possible tomorrow. please give me a call to let me know when you could come in and meet some of my colleagues.

thanks.

stef"

This is a good sign, no?

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