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morrigirlAm I evil?
What's wrong with me?
Why am I like this?
Why can't I be normal?
Am I ugly?
I wish I could just be a regular 24 year old enjoying the things that 24 year olds enjoy.
What's wrong with me?
Why am I like this?
Why can't I be normal?
Am I ugly?
I wish I could just be a regular 24 year old enjoying the things that 24 year olds enjoy.
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no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 06:54 am (UTC)No.
Nothing permanent.
Because you've never been given the chance to be otherwise.
You can be.
No.
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 07:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 07:10 am (UTC)Silly girl.
Date: 2003-10-20 01:35 pm (UTC)Do you desire to be evil? Do you purposely choose not to learn from mistakes and better yourself? If you were evil, you wouldn't be so concerned that you might be.
- What's wrong with me?
You're only human, and you're still in the first third of your life-cycle. It takes the entire span to figure it all out. We're all infants.
- Why am I like this?
How would you rather be? Is it within your ability to alter it? If so, then try. Such things don't come easily, so take as much time as needed and don't beat yourself up about it. If not, then stop worrying. It does not reflect badly upon you, but helps make you unique.
- Why can't I be normal?
No one is normal. "Normal" is what the perceived majority is in every one of millions of traits and preferences. The chances of being "normal" are nil. It is the differences that makes us human. Please tell me you're not trying to stop being human. People are attracted to one another for their strengths, but they fall in love for their weaknesses.
- Am I ugly?
Perish the thought. We weren't all paying lip services when we praised that time you posted a campic. Reowr.
Re: Silly girl.
Date: 2003-10-20 11:12 pm (UTC)#2: Well if we're all infants that why are all the other kids getting married and having children and having social lives? Obviously I'm not up to snuff with the rest of my class.
#3: Like I said in my entry I've tried every method I know of to change myself into the person I'd rather be. Nothing I've tried has worked. Even after years of devotion, nothing has worked. I'm just LIKE this, I'm stating to think there is no changing it.
#4: People fall in love with your weaknesses? I've never known that to be the case. I'm over flowing with weakness *looks around* no love for me. My weaknesses are ...and my strength for that matter are unlovable. I don't know why, they just are. And as for normality I mean why I can't I like the things other 24 year olds like? Why can't I enjoy parties? Alcohol? Video games? All the things 24 year olds do for fun don't appeal to me and it makes me the odd kid out. I want to be in the "in crowd."
Re: Silly girl.
Date: 2003-10-21 01:24 pm (UTC)As far as having a social life, well, the best I can offer is the generic advice of finding a group to join or something. Anything where you meet with people regularly for some kind of an activity. (I assume that time socializing online doesn't count from your perspective? You clearly have friends online.)
#3 Then, as I said, stop worrying about change. You don't have to fit yourself to this world; you have to let the world fit to you. No one expects you to be "perfect," and only an imbecile would demand perfection.
#4 "Flaws" was the word I was looking for, but yes. As for your list of common 24-year-old activities, I only commonly engage in the third myself. That's a really short list, too. What about Internet, reading, and movies about Caribbean pirates? Surely you're not the only person in our age bracket who likes the kind of music you do or who can have nostalgic conversations about 80's pop-culture you used to enjoy.
Shed a little more light on the positive, hon. *hugs*
*sad*
Date: 2003-10-20 03:20 pm (UTC)I had been in hiding almost since June and this past weekend at homecoming I really learned the value of a hug. I couldn't get the grin off my face. I'm so sad that I didn't see you...you would have fifty hugs from me, or more if you wanted.
In short, and I know this is easier said than done...you MUST go out and be with people. Being with people is necessary, and, as the cliche goes, "does a body good". And I know that evil depression is giving you the idea that people don't like being around you. I liked hanging out with you at Knox, a lot! You would always listened to me babble. :)
And didn't I give you something special anyway? Where are those bits of newspaper? Do you know how many people I have trusted with my lyrics? Two...only two.
You see...even though I am not there with you, I still value your friendship, very much. So, my dear friend, remember that you are loved no matter if someone tells you once a day or once a year...and go out and have some fun! I'm going out today :)
I hope this helps put things in perspective for you. I know I'm not the best comforter online, especially now that I'm blinded by unrequited love for yet another boy, AGAIN. hehe...but thats just how I am. *BIG HUG*
your devoted friend,
Snowbird
no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 07:11 pm (UTC)Nothing. Well, slightly shy, but that is part of the personality.
Each step leads us to where we are. Like what, exactly? Thoughtful, friendly, intelligent, honest? Because you are. We like you that way.
Who would want to be?
No way!
What do normal 24 year olds enjoy, anyways? As far as I can tell, they worry about not being employed, or not having children, or not having friends, or having too much to do. Seems you enjoy that the much as the rest of us.
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Date: 2003-10-20 11:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-20 11:16 pm (UTC)