Dork's Paradise

I just woke up from an unplanned nap. I skipped out on poetry class tonight because I was totally unprepared. I don't think I've done any work in a week. I was listening to Gayle and Lindsey's radio show and I fell asleep in the middle of the song I had requested. I was supposed to go over to Linds's after the show but oh well. I hope she isn't mad at me tomorrow.

I'm slowly waking up. T and I will be up all night now. She is packing to go home for 5 days because her sister is getting married. So I'm gonna have a double single for 5 whole days and no one to enjoy it with :( Oh well, I guess I'll just wind up watching lots of TV and playin' on the internet. Ah the dork's paradise. And there won't be loud Tina typing or watching TV when I go to bed. SWEET!

For Valentine's day Lindsey and I are prolly just gonna order a pizza and watch a movie. Only problem is I'm still broke. Katie suggested I go ask Wes what I could do for a 20. Sad thing is I actually considered it. It's a good thing I haven't seen him recently or I may have done it.

I've decided I'm not gonna deal with my feelings on the whole Kevin thing until I'm good and ready. I mean I'll still IM him and talk to him and shit, but I'm not gonna let myself feel shit until I'm ready. I'm just gonna go about my business and....I dunno, think about us when it gets closer to actually going home.

I've been saying recently that I think my entire clique is digressing. The last two weeks have been really reminiscent of freshman year, me and Gayle fighting over a boy, Gayle getting jealous about me and Clark, Kevin being a bitch, Dave and Lindsey being bitches to each other, Moses reappearing in my life. The drama factor has been going through the roof. It all really needs to stop. This is not the year for it. Maybe we are all so nervous about graduating that we are trying to do the last hurrah thing before grad you know? The last midnight fling, the last random makeout encounter, the last irresponsible moment.

But we are not going to talk about any of this stupid shit right now. You know why? Because Homicide is on! And all is right with the world when Homicide is on! Especially when it is one I have never seen before. I can't believe I've never seen this one. Barnfather is being held hostage! Awesome.

Well I have two Im conversations I should prolly return to. so BYEEEEEEE.

We the Retards...

Okay this whole thing is just getting fucking retarded!!!!!!

Had a nice long conversation with Heather H on Im this evening. She is so awesome! I am liking her more with each passing day. Have I mentioned that she is a sweetheart yet today? Anyway she told me some more stuff about her relationship with Wes, and now I am fulfledgedly PISSED!!!! He is fucking with so many people right now he has no goddamn idea! And one of them is my best friend. I swear to Goddess the next time I see the boy I'm gonna go right up to him and ask what his intentions toward Gayle are.

Wow now I'm really pissed off. Heather H is such a honey and deserves to be treated so much better. And Gayle, I'm just afraid Gayle is getting her hopes up on something that isn't going to happen, or rather isn't going to occur without having some big ass repurcussions. This is turning into the whole Clark saga all over agin and none of us need that! Although she will totally never admit it Gayle gets emotionally hung up on people and then she gets her feelings hurt. I dont want that to happen to her again. Wes is...I wont say jerk, I don't know him that well, but he is a very confused boy. Gots some issues. And as I can say from experience it is bad news to get mixed up with anyone who has issues. (or big ones at least)

Plus it sounds like he really relies on Heather. I don't know if Gayle just wants play or if she wants more then that. If she wants more shell have to keep dreaming. I'm afraid that even if she says she doesn't want more that unconsciously she does, therefore when she doesn't get it she will feel bad.

UGH.

We are all SOOOOO retarded. To let ourselves get dicked around by a fucking little boy. I so want to bitch slap Wes. Sit his ass down and tell him about how this works. That he is not formed yet. That what is going to happen is he will screw over numerous girls in his first couple years in college. Of course he wont realize what a dick he has been until they all stop talking to him. Then he will spend his senior year repenting. And while I was at it I'd give him a swift kick in the butt and tell him I know depression sucks but it might just be worse for those who have to deal with you so if you care about anyone besides yourself you will begin to seriously start working through your shit!

And while I was on this role I'd sit Heather down too and tell her how this works. Because as much as she thinks she may have things figured out in a couple of years he will come to the realization that the rest of us upper classmen have, that we didn't know shit about shit our frosh and soph years. She will totally mother him for the remainder of this year, maybe much of the next. But the day will come when she can't do it anymore. When he stops bringing her happiness. And she forgets what she saw in him to begin with. And starts feeling used. So she stops talking to him. And things change. But that it will all be for the better and each of them will be better people for the distance.

Okay I dare say at this point I may be projecting so I'm gonna stop typing and do homework.

G'night

PS How did I get wrapped up in all of this? All I wanted was a fucking singing valentine!