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Feb. 11th, 2002
Dying on the Inside
Feb. 11th, 2002 02:28 pmGod was SOOOOOO hating me last night! I got home after watching Strictly Ballroom over at Lindsey's last night (cute life affirming movie)and got some news that pissed me off and made me want to write in my journal but for some Godawful reason this fucking site wouldnt let me sign on. I was so flipping out. Paul as usual was there to calm me down. Goddess I feel so bad. I've made him deal with so much shit this weekend. I wish I could make it up to him somehow. He has been so good to me.
And what was the news that pissed me off so much?
I found out that Norman can't do the reading today for personal reasons so guess who they have gotten to replace him? MARC!!!!!!! I'm so pissed. It appears as though Marc has now assimilated into the ranks of the Catch elite. Pisses me off when he and I used to slander it all the time. Also I really want to see Heather read, I want to support my friend. But I REALLY dont want to have to sit there and listen to my ex-boyfriend read another one of his self-indulgent piece of shit stories! But after much though and yelling at the walls last night I've decided to go and stay for the whole thing. I'm just going to look insanely good while doing it! Got my outfit all picked out. I'll be a wee bit cold but, hey it'll be worth it. And I think I'll sit right in the front row just to screw with him. Seeing his ex right there in front will make him uncomfortable.
ha ha ha
And what was the news that pissed me off so much?
I found out that Norman can't do the reading today for personal reasons so guess who they have gotten to replace him? MARC!!!!!!! I'm so pissed. It appears as though Marc has now assimilated into the ranks of the Catch elite. Pisses me off when he and I used to slander it all the time. Also I really want to see Heather read, I want to support my friend. But I REALLY dont want to have to sit there and listen to my ex-boyfriend read another one of his self-indulgent piece of shit stories! But after much though and yelling at the walls last night I've decided to go and stay for the whole thing. I'm just going to look insanely good while doing it! Got my outfit all picked out. I'll be a wee bit cold but, hey it'll be worth it. And I think I'll sit right in the front row just to screw with him. Seeing his ex right there in front will make him uncomfortable.
ha ha ha
Happiness is a Warm Gun
Feb. 11th, 2002 08:00 pmHey there-
Well I got my Catch rejection letter today. My nonfiction piece that everyone absolutely loved was not accepted. I'm really upset. Everyone else I know who submitted got something in, Tina, Heather, Meghan, Ruby. All of them. Christopher was trying to comfort me today by telling me about how they only accept stuff that fits with their asthetic, which I know. I guess I was naive to think perhaps the merits of my writing would be enough to get me in. How dumb is that?
Went to the reading today though to show that I am a good sport. Heather was really good. She has grown so much as a writer. She did some really stupendous spoken word pieces. It makes me feel good that I was somehow a part of that, that maybe I helped to foster this beautiful passion of hers by exposing her to spoken word poetry :) I even sat through Marc's piece too. It was a story he wrote last year that I have read before. He was very nervous, had never read in front of an audience before, and it showed. His voice was very monotone and he never looked up from the page. A lot of people zoned out. It made me happy :)
And I had a good talk today with Clark. Bless his sweet little heart, he really made me feel a lot better. I went up to him in the computer lab and asked him for a hug because I've been having a bad weekend as we all know. And he asked if I wanted to go somewhere and talk about it. I said yeah but he made me promise to give him a back massage in exchange for his ear which I happily did.
So we went down to the pool room and sat on the couch and I just told him about all my shit. Kevin, Gayle, Wes, Catch, and he listened. And he told me how sexy and pretty I am, and how I have a nice personality, and that there is nothing wrong with me. He said the only problem he could find with me at the moment was how passive I am in dealing with other people's shit. I just take it and I shouldn't. But yeah it was nice. He hugged me and kissed my forehead and did all that nice stuff that he always does when I'm upset. Clark is yet another person I wish I could repay for being so tolerent of me. I wish he felt as comfortable approaching me when he is down as I do appraoching him. But if he isn't comfortable coming to me when he is depressed that's okay. I can understand why he wouldn't.
I look pretty today :) I must admit that. And I am getting loads of compliments on my outfit. I'm wearing my strappy black tank top, my calf length blue plaid skirt, and my bitch boots. And I'm wearing black lipstick. grrrr :) I'm hot I know that. Clark said so, Rob said so, and Moses said so with is eyes. It's just a difficult though to process and accept.
I don't feel like going to my radio show tonight so I got a sub. Goddess bless Cori Jeffrey! I should do homework but I prolly wont. Most likely will winde up over at Lindsey's. Maybe I can con her into watching Priscilla Queen of the Desert tonight. One can only hope.
Well I got my Catch rejection letter today. My nonfiction piece that everyone absolutely loved was not accepted. I'm really upset. Everyone else I know who submitted got something in, Tina, Heather, Meghan, Ruby. All of them. Christopher was trying to comfort me today by telling me about how they only accept stuff that fits with their asthetic, which I know. I guess I was naive to think perhaps the merits of my writing would be enough to get me in. How dumb is that?
Went to the reading today though to show that I am a good sport. Heather was really good. She has grown so much as a writer. She did some really stupendous spoken word pieces. It makes me feel good that I was somehow a part of that, that maybe I helped to foster this beautiful passion of hers by exposing her to spoken word poetry :) I even sat through Marc's piece too. It was a story he wrote last year that I have read before. He was very nervous, had never read in front of an audience before, and it showed. His voice was very monotone and he never looked up from the page. A lot of people zoned out. It made me happy :)
And I had a good talk today with Clark. Bless his sweet little heart, he really made me feel a lot better. I went up to him in the computer lab and asked him for a hug because I've been having a bad weekend as we all know. And he asked if I wanted to go somewhere and talk about it. I said yeah but he made me promise to give him a back massage in exchange for his ear which I happily did.
So we went down to the pool room and sat on the couch and I just told him about all my shit. Kevin, Gayle, Wes, Catch, and he listened. And he told me how sexy and pretty I am, and how I have a nice personality, and that there is nothing wrong with me. He said the only problem he could find with me at the moment was how passive I am in dealing with other people's shit. I just take it and I shouldn't. But yeah it was nice. He hugged me and kissed my forehead and did all that nice stuff that he always does when I'm upset. Clark is yet another person I wish I could repay for being so tolerent of me. I wish he felt as comfortable approaching me when he is down as I do appraoching him. But if he isn't comfortable coming to me when he is depressed that's okay. I can understand why he wouldn't.
I look pretty today :) I must admit that. And I am getting loads of compliments on my outfit. I'm wearing my strappy black tank top, my calf length blue plaid skirt, and my bitch boots. And I'm wearing black lipstick. grrrr :) I'm hot I know that. Clark said so, Rob said so, and Moses said so with is eyes. It's just a difficult though to process and accept.
I don't feel like going to my radio show tonight so I got a sub. Goddess bless Cori Jeffrey! I should do homework but I prolly wont. Most likely will winde up over at Lindsey's. Maybe I can con her into watching Priscilla Queen of the Desert tonight. One can only hope.