The Party

[morrigirl]

Today I have been faced with my first real job related challenge: deciding whether or not to attend the staff Halloween party. Well, it's nt REALLY a staff Halloween party, rather it's a Halloween party that Charles is having to which he has invited all of his co-workers, along with other people he knows. It's gonna be your typical drink and mingle sort of affair.

It doesn't sound like much of a decision does it? After all, what have I been bitching about for the last two weeks? My lonliness and desire for a social life. Well all of my co-workers will be there, all the "cool kids" as I've come to call them. It'll be a chance for me to socialize and get in good with them outside the work environment. Nothing but good can come of that right? So what's the problem?

Well, I haven't attended a party in about five years. I stopped going to themfor three reasons: 1) I don't drink and as a consequence find it difficult to have fun at parties where most of the attendees are drinking. 2) I'm no good at mingling. I never know what to say to strangers. My social ineptitude is readily apparent insuch situations and I typically wind up sitting alone in a corner somewhere looking and feeling like an idiot, and 3) because of #'s 1 and 2 I usually don't have any fun at parties.

So my dilemma is this: should I go even though history tells me that I won't have fun? Or should I just stay home? In all honesty, I want to go, but I'm just so afraid my social ineptitude will exile me to the corner all night, tus revealing what a silly, stupid, little girl I am to all of my co-workers. I don't want them to know how pathetic I am. I'm afraid if they know I'll become a permanent outcast around here. I don't want to go and then end up feeling worse as is usually the case when I go to a party.

I don't know what to do, and since I'm conflicted I probably just won't go. Better safe than sorry.

Comments

[kdc4evr.livejournal.com]

you should go, and make sure you always have something to drink. Not alcohol obviously since you dont drink alcohol, but just something in your hand to raise to your mouth. I think people drink at parties more for this comforting motion than anything. It's not like most drinks actually taste good. Of course sometimes people want to get drunk b/c it loosens them up and they feel more social. But I think drinking is considered a social activity because the act of holding a drink and drinking it is comforting. I also thinks this explains people who are social smokers. When you dont have something to say, you drink instead. You can just stand in a group of people and listen and keep sipping your drink and never have to say anything. It works pretty well actually. And if you feel like contributing, you can. You just have to force yourself to stand there and listen to people talk and resist the urge to go hide in the corner.

And you know, if it sucks or you're too uncomfortable, you can go home. Make up an excuse in advance that you can use if you decide to leave early that way you dont have to think one up on the spot.

I say go, at least for an hour, ya never know what could happen :p

fuckit

[nocash.livejournal.com]

go to the party. Talk to the people. The best way to not be an outcast is by letting them see who you are.

[electra310.livejournal.com]

You should definitely go, even if you're not sure you'll have fun. Thinking of the other people at work as "the cool kids," even in your own head, is never going to let you get closer to any of them. You're just as cool as any one of them, after all! If you have a good time at the party, then yay, it was a fun party! If you don't, well, you didn't really lose much and you aren't stuck at home wondering what might have happened if you'd gone.

[kdc4evr.livejournal.com]

that is really good advice

I always find that the regretting of not going is worse than going and hating it

[morrigirl.livejournal.com]

I've started refering to them as the "cool kids" because of the recent realization that not only do I have the emotional maturity of an 11 year old, but that my world view is similar to that of an eleven year old. Example: I feel like an outcast...pretty much all the time. And while I could come up with all sorts of grown up words and metaphors explaining why, inside myself the feeling is very simple. It's the feeling I've had since I was a kid, since the first time my best friends back stabbed me in fourth grade. It's that simple black and white, us and them distincition; the cool kids and the not cool kids. Personally i find it easier to understand my life when I'm defining it in adolescent terms.

[morrigirl.livejournal.com]

I make it a point only to regret things I've done, not things I haven't.

[spiltvinegar.livejournal.com]

i will join the others in saying that you should go. if you dont like it, then you can leave early. but like the others said, the only way for you to find out is to try it. i can sympathize with the non drinking thing, but like someone else said, have something else in your hand.

[kdc4evr.livejournal.com]

I know, I knew that when I was typing it, I just didnt feel like rephrasing

[irishelf.livejournal.com]

do you think it's possible that everyone still feels...simply? that we all have the same feelings that developed before adolescence, and all growing up does is give us more words and metaphors why? so, maybe everyone has the emotional maturity of an eleven year old, because that's when emotions stop maturing, and you just don't notice it in everyone else because they're using grown-up words, and you're not in their heads. you're only in your own.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, I too will have to recommend that you go...Past history & what not aside, let's be honest...You are obviously curious to go...More than this, with regards to your argument that you are still an 11-year-old girl inside, hurt by friends who turned out not to be so, well, I would suggest that your realization of this self-psychoanalysis means that you are ready to take the next step in moving forward...

So yes, make sure that when you arrive that you have a nice, tasty non-alcoholic beverage handy, and let yourself melt into the crowd...Pick a group that's engaged in an interesting conversation and just listen...If you got something to say, then say it, but if not, then just sit back and observe ("people watching" in clubs or at parties has it's own rewards...it can be very entertaining watching others make complete asses of themselves)...And when it gets boring, call it a night...

The main thing is, don't feel that you "have to" be the wittiest or funniest or most popular person there...Most people don't really remember party conversation anyway (as most are only waiting for their turn to talk)...And hey, you never know, you might meet someone really cute there ;)

- Paul

[morrigirl.livejournal.com]

If no one remembers part conversation than whats the point of having it in the first place?

[morrigirl.livejournal.com]

An interesting theory. Too bad there's not way to immediately confirm it :-p

[morrigirl.livejournal.com]

heh heh