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The Great Dilemma
Aug. 12th, 2003 03:43 pmBoth Tina and Gayle have requested LJ codes within a day of each other. I can only generate one. Grrr, now I have to decide who to give it to. What should I do?
Aug. 12th, 2003
Gayle has gotten with the program
Aug. 12th, 2003 07:50 pmThanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nabuchodonosor for hooking kdc4evr up with an LJ code. Now I can send mine to Tina. All you Knoxians, remember to add Gayle to your buddy list! She needs friends :-D
Oh and speaking of the lovely and talented Ms. Tina, she's coming to visit me!!! YAY!!!! She'll be here from Sept. 19 - 27. I'm so happy and excited and ecstatic!!! She wants to go to all the art museums. No problemo! I'm trying to figure out what else we can do. OOOO Maybe I can finally get her to meet Deepa. Dee has never met any of my college buds. I'd really love for her to meet T.
Okay, so last night I whipped out all of my depression self-help books and started re reading them and just...thinking about things. I'm already working with affirmations, I've started excersizing more (lost three pounds already,), and I'm trying to accept myself and my needs, and not beat myself up over little things. For example, I stayed in bed till 3 PM today. I wasn't sleeping I was just laying around, didn't feel like getting up. Normally I'd beat myself up for such behavior, but today I just told myself it was okay because I felt rested when I got up, and since I felt good then it couldn't possibly be bad for me.
Last night I added breathing to my list of positive behaviors. Layed down on the couch and just breathed and listened to the sounds of the city for five minutes. It was very relaxing. I think little by little, I'm gonna add more depression relieving activities to my daily routine.
That's part of my problem, I don't really have a routine right now. So I made a list of things I want to do every day, and now I'm gonna try and schedule them into my day. I've been operating under the assumption that without a job I'm not allowed to have a routine. And that's totally not true. Even if I don't have anywhere I NEED to be everyday, I can still schedule my activities and find solace in that organization.
Now, lemme jump to one more totally random subject: when Josh told me he didn't want to date me he said he just didn't feel any spark or chemistry between us. That seemed a bit odd to me because I've never felt an instant spark with any of the people I care intensely about. I told him that, for me at least, time and familiarity is what fuels that spark. But last night I thought "Hmm I'm not really sure if that's true or not." So I looked back over my relationships and friendships and tried to figure out if there were instant sparks, or if our bonds grew with time. And just as I suspected, most of my enduring relationships developed slowly rather than appearing magically.
Instant Connections:
Jason
Dannielle
Clark
Melly
With Time:
Libby
Tina
Gayle
Gemma
Elisabeth
Claris
Marc
Kevin
Deepa
I had more names, but of course now that I'm writing them all down I can't remember half of them. You get the idea though. Instant connections are not something I find myself having with most people. It is learning about and spending time with people that allows me to truly connect with someone. I think it's silly to expect chemistry right off the bat. Chemistry comes with time.
nabuchodonosor for hooking kdc4evr up with an LJ code. Now I can send mine to Tina. All you Knoxians, remember to add Gayle to your buddy list! She needs friends :-DOh and speaking of the lovely and talented Ms. Tina, she's coming to visit me!!! YAY!!!! She'll be here from Sept. 19 - 27. I'm so happy and excited and ecstatic!!! She wants to go to all the art museums. No problemo! I'm trying to figure out what else we can do. OOOO Maybe I can finally get her to meet Deepa. Dee has never met any of my college buds. I'd really love for her to meet T.
Okay, so last night I whipped out all of my depression self-help books and started re reading them and just...thinking about things. I'm already working with affirmations, I've started excersizing more (lost three pounds already,), and I'm trying to accept myself and my needs, and not beat myself up over little things. For example, I stayed in bed till 3 PM today. I wasn't sleeping I was just laying around, didn't feel like getting up. Normally I'd beat myself up for such behavior, but today I just told myself it was okay because I felt rested when I got up, and since I felt good then it couldn't possibly be bad for me.
Last night I added breathing to my list of positive behaviors. Layed down on the couch and just breathed and listened to the sounds of the city for five minutes. It was very relaxing. I think little by little, I'm gonna add more depression relieving activities to my daily routine.
That's part of my problem, I don't really have a routine right now. So I made a list of things I want to do every day, and now I'm gonna try and schedule them into my day. I've been operating under the assumption that without a job I'm not allowed to have a routine. And that's totally not true. Even if I don't have anywhere I NEED to be everyday, I can still schedule my activities and find solace in that organization.
Now, lemme jump to one more totally random subject: when Josh told me he didn't want to date me he said he just didn't feel any spark or chemistry between us. That seemed a bit odd to me because I've never felt an instant spark with any of the people I care intensely about. I told him that, for me at least, time and familiarity is what fuels that spark. But last night I thought "Hmm I'm not really sure if that's true or not." So I looked back over my relationships and friendships and tried to figure out if there were instant sparks, or if our bonds grew with time. And just as I suspected, most of my enduring relationships developed slowly rather than appearing magically.
Instant Connections:
Jason
Dannielle
Clark
Melly
With Time:
Libby
Tina
Gayle
Gemma
Elisabeth
Claris
Marc
Kevin
Deepa
I had more names, but of course now that I'm writing them all down I can't remember half of them. You get the idea though. Instant connections are not something I find myself having with most people. It is learning about and spending time with people that allows me to truly connect with someone. I think it's silly to expect chemistry right off the bat. Chemistry comes with time.
