Surprise of the Decade

Hi there,

I have several old emails I wrote saved to my Sent file in my Knox Account. These are emails that describe important emotions or events and that i feel too attached to to delete. But they are taking up room in my account so Im trannsferring theminto my journal so i can keep they, and delete them at the same time :) This first one was written to Gayle on September 7 2001.

Dear Gayley,
Im writing to you because I have something utterly amazing to tell you about. I think youre probably the only person who could really truly appreciate how unexpacted this is. Dude, last night, after three fucking years, I finally got our pal Clark to admit that the two of us slept together!

Heres the story. I went to study in the Gizmo last night and ran into him. He was sitting alone on the couches and the two of us just got to talking and were well on our way to one of those 4 hour conversations that he and i have about once a term, when he started rating the girls in the Gizmo. He was being unusally crude and silly, saying who had a cute ass, who had nice legs, who was butt ugly. Eventually he said something like, their all cute, but their all freshmen.
To which I replied, Well thats never stopped you.
He acted mock insulted and then said quite seriously, I have never fucked a freshman.
I thought about that a moment and then asked, Didnt you fuck freshmen when you were a freshmen?
He looked at me for a moment, and then he smiled. What would you know about that? He asked.
I smiled back. I wouldnt know anything about that. Just a guess.
It was just a fun moment of recognition! It was the only time he has ever even covertly alluded to that night. And the conversation continued. He said Okay, but I only fucked one person freshman year, You definitely fucked more freshmen then I did!
This shocked the hell out of me. You only fucked one person freshmen year? Boy did I feel honored. Note the sarcasm.
yup. he replied
wow I would have though there were more.
Why?
because I just always assumed youd slept with more people then me. and that phrase launched us into a boys locker room typed game in which the two of us calculated how many people we had each slept with. Both of us were sure the other one would have the most, but when we were done counting, we discovered that we were both tied at 7. Of his 7 I was number 2. Of mine he was number 3.

After that we sat around for another two hours talking and not getting anything productive done. and that was it. I cant believe the fart knocker finally admitted it! How surprising is that? I guess hes resolved all his issues surrounding it. About time! Okay just needed to tel some one that. I gotta go to work soon so Ill write you later.
Carla

On The Edge

This email was written to Katie and is dated September 13 2001.

Dear Katie,
Thank you so much for your email. I really appreciate it. It took me 11 hours to reach my mother and my brother Michael on Tuesday. They were fine, as was my oldest brother, his family, and my sister. My brother Neil who works for the fire department, as well as my sisters boyfriend Greg were both MIA for about 30 hours. But they both eventually got in contact with us and they are both safe. Neil is actually down at ground zero clearing up the wreckage and trying to save people. My oldest brother Gregory was on a rooftop in Queens when the whole thing went down. He saw it as it happened. Not on TV. He saw the real thing. The whole experience has completely unhinged him. All of us have been severely emotionally disturbed by this, but I think Gregory has it the worst. I still cant stop crying. Im releived and supremely greatful that all of my family and friends are alive and well. But everything that I took for granted would always be there has now been called into question. A crazy person laid seige on my home town. They tore up the landscape. They obiterated a huge chunk of my community. Inflicted mental suffering on millions. I cant tell you how this feels. I really cant. Tina and I have had to sleep with a light on the last few nights because I cant stand to be in the dark. I just keep seeing the those images of the plane crashing into the building, the explosion, and then the collapse. That image keeps playing itself over and over in my head to the soundtrack of people screaming. Michael says the entire town has become one huge missing poster. Everyone knows someone who is unconfirmed. The streets are plastered with missing signs. Miles of them. Everyone is looking for somebody. I just keep hoping that there are people alive in the sub basements. That there are vast communities of people alive down there, shouting to each other through the wreckage, telling each other that help will arrive soon. You gotta dream. You gotta hope.

Jeremiah tells me you arent doing to well. How are you feeling about this? He says you dont want to go to France now. I dont fully blame you. I dont want to fly home in November. But you shouldnt let fear keep you from the opportunity of a lifetime. You have to go to France. It will be a good release from all the chaos here. Hey, is Bush getting on your nerves as much as he is getting on mine? He is not the least bit genuine, and has no idea how to comfort the country. Plus I think hes a little trigger happy. I mean I want whoever did this to pay as much as the next guy. But I dont think we should start bombing countries we dont like. That would just be the death of more innocent people. It would only add to the horror. Heres my idea of revenge. Whenever they figure out who did this, they should bring him to New York, stand him before all the poeple who lost a loved one in the collapse, (Which would pretty much be the entire city with the happy exception of my own family.) and let THOSE people have free reign and decision making capacity on what to do to him. That I think would be justice.

well those are my thoughts on the subject. Write back and let me know how you are doing. Let me know what thoughta are goin through you head. Take care honey.
Love,
Carla

Meeting Robin Metz

Heres the last one. I wrote it to Heather, It's dated November 11 2001.

Hey Heath-Bar,
How are you doing? Im sorry i havent been on top of my emailing. You know how it is here at Knox, work can become so overwhelming that you forget about everyone outside of the bubble. But Im glad things are going well in Chi-town. Im happy you had a good birthday. The thing with Ralph sounds a little strange though not out of character for you ;) What is going to happen with him once you get back to Knox? Just curious.

The playwriters workshop show Im in is going up tomorrow. It was written by Tristina, Aaron Saylor directed it, and Meegan, Jon Austin, Jeff Hendrickson, and this first year named Nate are in it too. Were not as well rehersed as we should be, but tomorrow its do or die so I guess well just have to DO!
Anyway, Im emailing to relate an interesting event that occurred last night that I think only you would truly be able to appreciate. Last night I met Robin Metz for the first time.

Heres what happened. last night, after the Fall informal dance concert T, Linds, Dave, Jeremiah and I went out to eat at Applebees. Since 3 out of the 5 of us were non smokers, we wound up sitting in the non smoking section. Two seconds after sitting down T decided she wanted to go have a smoke up at the bar. but Oh no! she said. The only place to sit is next to a KNOX professor! I looked up and saw that the only two empty seats at the bar were next to Liz and Robin Metz. She didnt want to go up alone so I said Id go with her. So the two of us sat up there and smoked. T and I discussed her ever present financial problems. This week, her problem is figuring out where shes gonna live over the winter break. She doesnt want to go home after NY, but she cant afford to stay at Knox, rent is too expensive. So we sat talking about this and every now and then Robin would steal a glace at us, so I knew that he was sort of eavesdropping.

When our food came we went back to the table and ate. After dinner T went back up to the bar to smoke, this time without me. The minute she sat down I overheard Robin say to her, so I hear youre having financial problems. I tried not to listen in on the conversation, but I heard enough to know that Liz and Robin were trying to give her advice and ideas about where she might live over break. Tina returned to the table having recieved suggestions about where to find profs who needed housesitters, and with a list of students who needed apartment sitters! I thought that was very nice of them to offer her help. I looked over at the Metzs and saw Liz getting up to leave. She left but Robin stayed at the bar, nursing I drink.

Not long after I felt the urge for a cigarette, so it was miy turn to go up to the bar alone. I sat down next to Robin and lit my Marlboro, he turned to me and asked, So you gonna help your friend find a house? I told him i would if I could. He extended his hand, I shook it and he said I know weve run across each other before but I dont think we have ever officially met, what is your name? I told him and he said, You know, Ive had my eye on you for quite some time.

Really? I asked, astoundedly. He knew who I was, in that he knew I was a creative writing major. He said you were really kind of shy and withdrawn your first couple of years werent you? But now I see you all over the place, Ive seen you in shows and at dance concerts and at all the readings and Ive been thinking, now there is some one who is really breaking new ground, there is someone who is pushing herself. And I knew you were in my department and i wondered why we hadnt met, but I just thought, give it time, when the time is right, youll meet. I dont know if it was the whisky talking or if he gives this speach to every writing major he meets, but it made me feel really special. It gave me an ego boost. Just to think that the head of the english department had been admiring me from afar for 4 years was kind of thrilling.

I told him I was going to be in his Beginning Fiction Writing class next term, and right about then Tina came back over. The three of us talked for quite some time, just about Knox, and art, and grad school. It was all very pleasant. Robin bummed a cigarette off of me and had me light it for me. He even payed me for it! And when Linds finally screamed Hey guys, wed like to leave! Robin shook both of our hands again, and he said to me, For years Ive been wondering who is that talented, ravishing young woman. Im so glad I finally got to meet you. Needless to say there was a smile about ten miles wide on my face as we left Applbees and a skip in my step that hasnt been there in years I tell you, YEARS!
So thats my story about meeting Robin. Tee hee. It was funny. I thought youd enjoy it.
Well its almost two in the morning and I have to work in the morning so i must say goo bye and good night. Take care my love and write soon. I love you.

Love,
Carina the Ravishing

The Real Thing

Okay, here is the real entry for today.

I'm so bored. I've been sitting around all day waiting for Paul to call. He was supposed to get into the city today and said he would call me in the early evening. Well its 8 PM now, definitely not early evening anymore. If he doesn't call and I've waited around for nothing there will be hell to pay. Grrrr.

I got a nice email from Gayle today which I have yet to respond to. Maybe later tonight. And I also got the book I ordered with her gift certificate today. Sure as day it's a rare and used copy of Experiments in Aquarian Magic by Marian Green. I love Barnes and Noble online. They have such a wider selection. I want to buy all my boooks there now.

Also got my graduation pictures back today and I must say that is the single most spectacular roll I have ever shot in my entire life! Every single photo is perfect! Everyone looks beautiful and happy, none of them are blurry, I don't look fat in any of them, it's great! However I thought the rest of my Wild things photos were on the same roll, turnd out they weren't. So I have no idea where my Wild Things film went. I hope I just misplaced it. I hope I didn't leave it in our dorm room. That would suck. Either it's lost some where in my room, or I packed it in one of the boxes I left in Galesburg by accident. Pray I find them because I really want everyone out here to see how awesome I looked in my costume! I only took one picture of myself in costume and I wanted to post it on this here journal.

So everyone who believes in fairies...wait wrong story...uh...everyone who wants to see what a fool I looked like in my Wild Things costume clap your hands and maybe they will miraculously appear. C'mon sometimes miracles do happen :)