Don't Tell Me

[morrigirl]

Honestly? It has been a pretty shitty weekend. Mom has been screaming non-stop. The two of us should not be living together. We are completely incompatible. I need to move out ASAP. Problem still remains that I'm not making enough money to move out. So in order to move, I need to get a new job. My entire house is a mess, nothing is organized, and I can't find anything. Have so much swirling around my head, it's hard to decide what I should do first organize my life? look for a new job? try to find affordable housing? Or simply do what Micahael suggests: suck it up, save some dough, and simply put a downpayment on an aprtment in a year or two. Sounds really thrifty considering that mortgage payments are ten times lower then rent in this city. But fact of the matter is I'm utterly miserable in my current living situation and don't think waiting a round for another year or two would be every good for me in terms of mental health. My mom hates having me at home and I hate being there. It's not a comfortable situation. And everyone keeps telling me that I AM doing all the right things in terms of trying to get out, but none of those things are paying off. God I wish I had someone to room with. That would go a long way to solving this dilemma.

My head is all over th place, and I'm feeling shitty because my mom won't stop harping on me. I don't know what I should be doing that I'm not already and it just feels like the whole thing is hopeless, and I think the fact that I've been bitching about this for over year while actively trying to fix the situation proves just how hopeless it is. A year ago people were telling me to hang in there, that I would eventually find a place to live. Bullshit. Every lead I follow dies a quick death. There is nothing for a person with my income. Most of the waiting lists for low-income housing are closed. I don't know what to do and I'm mentally paralyzed.

I feel like I should just off myself cause, let's face it, it's not gonna get any better. Without money and connections I'm fucked.

Comments

[ma-ee-uh.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah... I spend about 60% of my monthly income on rent. Not paying more than a 1/3 is goo advice, but it's advice that is difficult to follow in NYC, and pretty much anywhere that there are hoardes of rich people who drive up rents.