Don't Tell Me

[morrigirl]

Honestly? It has been a pretty shitty weekend. Mom has been screaming non-stop. The two of us should not be living together. We are completely incompatible. I need to move out ASAP. Problem still remains that I'm not making enough money to move out. So in order to move, I need to get a new job. My entire house is a mess, nothing is organized, and I can't find anything. Have so much swirling around my head, it's hard to decide what I should do first organize my life? look for a new job? try to find affordable housing? Or simply do what Micahael suggests: suck it up, save some dough, and simply put a downpayment on an aprtment in a year or two. Sounds really thrifty considering that mortgage payments are ten times lower then rent in this city. But fact of the matter is I'm utterly miserable in my current living situation and don't think waiting a round for another year or two would be every good for me in terms of mental health. My mom hates having me at home and I hate being there. It's not a comfortable situation. And everyone keeps telling me that I AM doing all the right things in terms of trying to get out, but none of those things are paying off. God I wish I had someone to room with. That would go a long way to solving this dilemma.

My head is all over th place, and I'm feeling shitty because my mom won't stop harping on me. I don't know what I should be doing that I'm not already and it just feels like the whole thing is hopeless, and I think the fact that I've been bitching about this for over year while actively trying to fix the situation proves just how hopeless it is. A year ago people were telling me to hang in there, that I would eventually find a place to live. Bullshit. Every lead I follow dies a quick death. There is nothing for a person with my income. Most of the waiting lists for low-income housing are closed. I don't know what to do and I'm mentally paralyzed.

I feel like I should just off myself cause, let's face it, it's not gonna get any better. Without money and connections I'm fucked.

Comments

[ma-ee-uh.livejournal.com]

How about looking for an apt. share on Craigslist?

[morrigirl.livejournal.com]

Been there, done that. Actually I do that everyday of the week. But the problem with craigslist is:

A) Almost every share is WAY out of my price range

B) Most of the people own dogs or cats and I am big time, hardcore, cough up a lung and die within 5 minutes, allergic.

and

C) Many affordable shares are in the New Jersey, Long Island, or the far north suburbs, areas where I'd end up spending what I saved in rent on transportation. Just not logical to go for the two hour commute when it's just gonna end up costing me as much, if not more then staying in the city.

Even so, i'm out on craigslist everyday of the week, confirming over and over agaion that there is nothing out there for someone like me.

[ma-ee-uh.livejournal.com]

Do you work FT? You must be really underpaid.

I actually like the idea of saving up and buying a place. Maybe get a better-paying job, too, though, so it will take you less time to save up?

[morrigirl.livejournal.com]

Yup, I work full time and am very underpaid. I don't even make 24K a year. This weekend my brother asked me how much I make, and when I told him he said "well THAT explains it. You don't make enough to live in the city!"

Of course, neither does he. Most people around here don't. Yet they somehow manage. I just wish somoene would clue me in on the secret.

[ma-ee-uh.livejournal.com]

Well, I make more than that, but not tons more. I have my own place, which costs me more than 1/2 my monthly salary in rent, which means I live paycheck to paycheck and am broke all the time. Yay.

I think you could find a job that pays somewhat more that what yours does, though. And then save, save, save.

[ma-ee-uh.livejournal.com]

And by broke, I mean that I rarely buy myself anything other than food and the occasional rented video.

[morrigirl.livejournal.com]

yeah, most of the city is in the same boat. I would be in the same boat too if people didn't keep telling me again and again how I shouldn't pay that much in rent, even though they themselves do. Everyone keeps telling me I'm doing all the right things to locate an apartment, I'm looking on craigslist, I'm searching through the newspapers, I'm talking to the few friends I have, but none of it ever pans out. Hmmm...maybe all the advice people give me about not paying more than 1/3 of my monthly income in rent has more to do with what they'd rather not see me do as oppose to what I might realistically be able to do.

[ma-ee-uh.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah... I spend about 60% of my monthly income on rent. Not paying more than a 1/3 is goo advice, but it's advice that is difficult to follow in NYC, and pretty much anywhere that there are hoardes of rich people who drive up rents.

[ma-ee-uh.livejournal.com]

Uh, and by "goo advice," I mean *good* advice.