morrigirl | Panties

I need new panties. Badly. My awesome cotton ones are beginning to develop holes. So, for the last week I've been on the prowl for new cotton hipsters. But I am having no luck because the tide of the panty-making industry seems to have changed since the last time I made a purchase. It seems that what I think of as hipsters are no longer hipsters. Allow me to show you what I mean by using these pictures from the Victoria's Secret website of their Second Skin Satin collection to demonstrate.

REAL hipsters

This is the panty I wore all through college and high school. Back then this cut was known as the hipster because, as you can see, it starts at and hugs the hip bone. Now Victoria's Secret lists it as a "bikini." This is a complete misnomer since all the other "bikinis" on the site look more like this:

REAL binki

Now, on the same page as the inappropriately titled bikini/former hipster we see this photo which is labeled "hipster."

FAKE hipster

In the two years since I last purchased new underwear THIS is what "hipsters" have become. I don't know why the industry has decided that this should be called a hipster since it starts below the hip bone and whenever I try to wear a panty of this cut I take two steps and it falls down around my fucking ankles because, low and behold, THERE'S NOTHING TO HOLD IT UP!!!

But, for some unknown reason THAT is what's in style now and no one seems to be making tradiaitonal "hipsters." I've ransacked Macy's, Penney's, Sears, no one is making tradiational hipsters even under assumed names like Victoria's Secret.

Well, you may ask, why don't I go out and buy a few of those not-bikinis/former hipster panties pictured above? Because they're satin. I'm looking for cotton. Cotton panties are better for one's lady parts. And it seems that cotton underwear has gone the way of the dodo along with traditional hipsters. The only cotton undies I've been able to find are of the bikini and renovated hipster variety which, as I've said, fall off my body faster than you can say "Stiptease."

So, I am forlorn. Thanks to retarded panty trends, I am forced to continue wearing old, holey underwear instead of soft, new, intact underwear.

And I am not happy about it.