Clock of the Heart
Dec. 2nd, 2002 03:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrigirlOkay here's a quick update on the love lives of those near and dear to me: Michael and Danielle are getting back together...AGAIN!!! Greg and Cathy are splitting up...AGAIN!!! Question of the week: when the heck will people learn to let dead dogs lie?
Dad asked me this week if I was seeing anyone. *laughs* yeah like I'm in any friggin condition to be dating. What sucks about having him gone now is that I actually have to spend time with myself, and we all know when I spend time with myself all I can think about is Kirk. Talk about dead dogs. Throughout the term I was able to distract myself with school work (for the most part) and this first week home has been spent with Dad, a fine distraction if ever there was one. I've had one intense cry surrounding Kirk's memory since I got home, which is pretty good I think. However I don't want to make it a daily occurence ya know? I need to find a new distraction, and I think the portfolio may be my best choice. By the time I finish that we'll be deep into the Christmas rush so I'll just move right into shopping phase. With any luck I won't have to think about Kirk this entire break :)
However, I still need to call his mom and find out where he is buried. I swore to myself I'd do it while I was home. I wanna wait until after said festival of lights though. I think it would be rude to ram home the fact that he isn't around smack dab in the middle of the holidays.
I'm afraid to statw this stuff in public. I wonder when I will be able to date again. I wonder when I will get over this, or when I'll stop being so needy. I wonder if magic can change my world. I wonder if I really appear to be as ugly as I feel. Sometimes I don't think I will ever be fit for a normal relationship, job, life of any sort. Sometimes I think we should just put me into an adult care facility and leave it at that.
How will anyone ever love me the way I am? When will I stop needing people to love me the way I am?
Dad asked me this week if I was seeing anyone. *laughs* yeah like I'm in any friggin condition to be dating. What sucks about having him gone now is that I actually have to spend time with myself, and we all know when I spend time with myself all I can think about is Kirk. Talk about dead dogs. Throughout the term I was able to distract myself with school work (for the most part) and this first week home has been spent with Dad, a fine distraction if ever there was one. I've had one intense cry surrounding Kirk's memory since I got home, which is pretty good I think. However I don't want to make it a daily occurence ya know? I need to find a new distraction, and I think the portfolio may be my best choice. By the time I finish that we'll be deep into the Christmas rush so I'll just move right into shopping phase. With any luck I won't have to think about Kirk this entire break :)
However, I still need to call his mom and find out where he is buried. I swore to myself I'd do it while I was home. I wanna wait until after said festival of lights though. I think it would be rude to ram home the fact that he isn't around smack dab in the middle of the holidays.
I'm afraid to statw this stuff in public. I wonder when I will be able to date again. I wonder when I will get over this, or when I'll stop being so needy. I wonder if magic can change my world. I wonder if I really appear to be as ugly as I feel. Sometimes I don't think I will ever be fit for a normal relationship, job, life of any sort. Sometimes I think we should just put me into an adult care facility and leave it at that.
How will anyone ever love me the way I am? When will I stop needing people to love me the way I am?
