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morrigirl"Suicide is not a rational or clearly thought-out action. If suicide is any kind of "choice," it is a coerced choice, in which someone you loved was unable to see alternatives and consequences." - Adina Wronleski from Suicide:Survivors, p. 107
"I felt increasingly isolated from my friends and family. They had no idea what I was going through, all their well-intentioned advice and words of comfort seeming ignorant at best and tinged with cruelty at worst." Carla Fine from No Time to Say Goodbye p. 8
"You can't save them if they won't let you." Ibid p. 12
"People skimmed by me on the street, on their way to buy groceries or go to the bank or visit a friend. How were such trivial activities still possible?" Ibid p. 34
"People who kill themselves are breaking an unwritten contract that declares we should not be free to leave society at will...The whole horror of suicide resonates with the most profound existential question of one's life: Why should I live?...To hear that someone has answered no, that someone has broken the rules, is extraordinarily threatening to survivors." Ibid p. 64
"Ome year after my son't suicide. I saw so children playing baseball in front of my house. One boy didn't want to play anymore. The other kids offered him the ball, extra points, anything to make him stay in the game. But he didn't want to play and went away. It reminded me of my son. I did everything I could to keep him here, but he wanted to go and he left." Ibid p. 93
"The greatest myth is that if people talk about suicide or if they have had several unsuccessful attempts, they're not going to do it. Of course they are." Ibid, p. 174
"One of the most painful things that came out of the talks with survivor/victims...was the realization that someone whom they had deeply cared about had chosen to leave them; not in an "everyday" fashion - by walking out or suing for divorce - but by death. Survivors are traumatized by the notion that someone has rejected them in this fashion...one of the reasons for the great pain survivors feel (and the anger it forments) is that they have to face the realization that the dead person renounced all possibility of help from them. This leaves them feeling quite worthless." Christopher Lukas and Henry Seiden from Silent Grief p. 8
"Suicide is a public admission that my love...wasn't enough." Ibid p. 19
"Psychoanalysts call the transformation of experience in therapy "working through," and something like it can occur in everyday life. Each time you talk about a painful experience there is a little change. It's almost as if experience is a kaleidiscope: Each turn permits the elements to realign themselves. If the turn is allowed there's some reorganization, some give, things feel a little better. There are tiny transformations. You are able to shift into a more comfortable mode, so that you feel less despairing about the same reality." Ibid p. 120
"There's a part of me that knows he had to know we loved him. But it's not a matter of love, is it? Love just isn't enough." Ibid p. 125
"The ability to perform one's usual tasks is impaired. At the same time there is a diminished ability to be emotionally responsive in other ways. The survivor is likely to feel distant from others and is far less able to be intimately connected than he or she was in the past." Ann Smolin and John Guinan from Healing After the Suicide of a Loved one, p. 15
"It will generally be found that as soon as the terrors of life reach the point at which they outweigh the terrors of death, a man will put an end to his life." The Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon p. 247
"THe man who kills a man kills a man
The man who kills himself kills all men.
As far as he is concerned, he wipes out the world"
GK Chesterton ibid p. 252
"It is possible to understand the paths that have lead someone toward suicide, but the mentality of the actual moment, of the leap required to undertake the action- that is incomprehensible and terrifying and so strange that it makes one feel as though one had never really known the person who did it." Ibid, p.264
"I felt increasingly isolated from my friends and family. They had no idea what I was going through, all their well-intentioned advice and words of comfort seeming ignorant at best and tinged with cruelty at worst." Carla Fine from No Time to Say Goodbye p. 8
"You can't save them if they won't let you." Ibid p. 12
"People skimmed by me on the street, on their way to buy groceries or go to the bank or visit a friend. How were such trivial activities still possible?" Ibid p. 34
"People who kill themselves are breaking an unwritten contract that declares we should not be free to leave society at will...The whole horror of suicide resonates with the most profound existential question of one's life: Why should I live?...To hear that someone has answered no, that someone has broken the rules, is extraordinarily threatening to survivors." Ibid p. 64
"Ome year after my son't suicide. I saw so children playing baseball in front of my house. One boy didn't want to play anymore. The other kids offered him the ball, extra points, anything to make him stay in the game. But he didn't want to play and went away. It reminded me of my son. I did everything I could to keep him here, but he wanted to go and he left." Ibid p. 93
"The greatest myth is that if people talk about suicide or if they have had several unsuccessful attempts, they're not going to do it. Of course they are." Ibid, p. 174
"One of the most painful things that came out of the talks with survivor/victims...was the realization that someone whom they had deeply cared about had chosen to leave them; not in an "everyday" fashion - by walking out or suing for divorce - but by death. Survivors are traumatized by the notion that someone has rejected them in this fashion...one of the reasons for the great pain survivors feel (and the anger it forments) is that they have to face the realization that the dead person renounced all possibility of help from them. This leaves them feeling quite worthless." Christopher Lukas and Henry Seiden from Silent Grief p. 8
"Suicide is a public admission that my love...wasn't enough." Ibid p. 19
"Psychoanalysts call the transformation of experience in therapy "working through," and something like it can occur in everyday life. Each time you talk about a painful experience there is a little change. It's almost as if experience is a kaleidiscope: Each turn permits the elements to realign themselves. If the turn is allowed there's some reorganization, some give, things feel a little better. There are tiny transformations. You are able to shift into a more comfortable mode, so that you feel less despairing about the same reality." Ibid p. 120
"There's a part of me that knows he had to know we loved him. But it's not a matter of love, is it? Love just isn't enough." Ibid p. 125
"The ability to perform one's usual tasks is impaired. At the same time there is a diminished ability to be emotionally responsive in other ways. The survivor is likely to feel distant from others and is far less able to be intimately connected than he or she was in the past." Ann Smolin and John Guinan from Healing After the Suicide of a Loved one, p. 15
"It will generally be found that as soon as the terrors of life reach the point at which they outweigh the terrors of death, a man will put an end to his life." The Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon p. 247
"THe man who kills a man kills a man
The man who kills himself kills all men.
As far as he is concerned, he wipes out the world"
GK Chesterton ibid p. 252
"It is possible to understand the paths that have lead someone toward suicide, but the mentality of the actual moment, of the leap required to undertake the action- that is incomprehensible and terrifying and so strange that it makes one feel as though one had never really known the person who did it." Ibid, p.264
