Toothbrush
Aug. 27th, 2002 07:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrigirlMy mother gave me a new toothbrush a few days ago. It came free with the latest bottle of toothpaste she purchased. She already has two toothbrushes so she gave me this new spare. I welcomed it because my current toothbrush was starting to get old and worn. The new one was tough and fresh and green. I never would have picked a green brush for myself, but now that i have one I find it charming. So I was brushing my teeth with it this morning and I was reflecting on how much I really like it. I like everything about it, the way the bristles are positioned, the color, the handle, everything.
And maybe I'm reading too far into my own psychology, but I wonder if it's really the brush I like or the fact that my mom gave it to me. I have a tendacy to really latch on to the nice things my mom does for me, and put way to much emotional significance on them. I dunno, it's just everything that happens between us seems to have a larger then life effect on me. Like the very fact that she off handedly offered me a toothbrush makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that she actually cares enough to be concerned about my dental health. Is it healthy to be this obsessed with your mother?
And Kirk never called yesterday. To be honest I don't expect to hear from him today either, even though I know I will call and leave him a message. I'm concerned that I don't know what we are or where we stand, because I'm getting to the point where I think I may start writiing poems about this guy. And that's a big step for me. I only ever write poems abut things that are imortant to me, that have a major impact on my life or emotions. I always try to refrain from writing poems about people because when I finally do, it's a way of admitting what a huge effect said person had on me. The one saving grace of the whole Kevin debacle was I never wrote any poems about him. He was never important enough to warrent one. Having never written about him, I know I will be able to make an easy recovery from the break up. In fact I hardly think of him anymore. And I can see how littel I actually cared about him, and how small he was in the wider context of my life. So it scares me that I feel a poem about Kirk brewing. I don't want to admit how much I care about him or how much he effects me. Although anyone who reads this journal knows what a big part of my life he is becoming. *sigh* I hate getting attached to people.
Just saw on NY1 that St. Paul's Church, the one across the street from WTC, whose gave yard I used to wander through, re-openned today. Surprisingly it sustained practically zero damage in the attack, a damn miracle seeing as the damn thing is practically in the WTC complex. But I'm glad something I care about is still standing down there. My memories haven't been completely demolished. I'm gonna have to go down and visit it soon.
And maybe I'm reading too far into my own psychology, but I wonder if it's really the brush I like or the fact that my mom gave it to me. I have a tendacy to really latch on to the nice things my mom does for me, and put way to much emotional significance on them. I dunno, it's just everything that happens between us seems to have a larger then life effect on me. Like the very fact that she off handedly offered me a toothbrush makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that she actually cares enough to be concerned about my dental health. Is it healthy to be this obsessed with your mother?
And Kirk never called yesterday. To be honest I don't expect to hear from him today either, even though I know I will call and leave him a message. I'm concerned that I don't know what we are or where we stand, because I'm getting to the point where I think I may start writiing poems about this guy. And that's a big step for me. I only ever write poems abut things that are imortant to me, that have a major impact on my life or emotions. I always try to refrain from writing poems about people because when I finally do, it's a way of admitting what a huge effect said person had on me. The one saving grace of the whole Kevin debacle was I never wrote any poems about him. He was never important enough to warrent one. Having never written about him, I know I will be able to make an easy recovery from the break up. In fact I hardly think of him anymore. And I can see how littel I actually cared about him, and how small he was in the wider context of my life. So it scares me that I feel a poem about Kirk brewing. I don't want to admit how much I care about him or how much he effects me. Although anyone who reads this journal knows what a big part of my life he is becoming. *sigh* I hate getting attached to people.
Just saw on NY1 that St. Paul's Church, the one across the street from WTC, whose gave yard I used to wander through, re-openned today. Surprisingly it sustained practically zero damage in the attack, a damn miracle seeing as the damn thing is practically in the WTC complex. But I'm glad something I care about is still standing down there. My memories haven't been completely demolished. I'm gonna have to go down and visit it soon.
