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morrigirlI was having a pretty good day up till an hour ago.
I woke up, changed the sheets on Dick's bed, watched some News Radio, took a bath, greeted Dick when I got out, did laundry, cleaned up my rooma little, folded some clothes, and read some of my book. I was feeling fine and was kind of proud of myself for being so productive.
And then my Mom came home. I think from now on she should be refered to as the Evil Bitch-Monster of Death! (Go Buffy! *thumbs up*)
Eh, I won't drag out all the details but suffice to say, she flipped out big time last night when I broke the news to her, and today she was up to her old tricks, thinking she knows more then I do about how to take care of me. We had an hour long knock down drag out fight. (That seems to be the only type of disagreements we are capable of having.) And she of course made me feel bad and told me I was misinterpretting everything she said. Claimed she knew what was best for me while at the same time admitting she knows nothing about depression or how to deal with it. As usual we chalked it all up to communication problems, which really were half the reason for this disagreement, and eventually ended ona positive note saying we'd try to be more considerate of one another in the future. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!
But I still feel bad. As usual all it takes is one harsh word from her and my self-esteem drops dismally low. This is why I need to move out, because she has too much of an affect on me. This is why I need a therapist, because I need to learn how not to take her so seriously. This is why I will not talk to her again after i move out. Because ironically enough, I don't think I will be able to repair the damage she has done if she is in my life. In order for me to forgive her, I can't have her in my life.
I woke up, changed the sheets on Dick's bed, watched some News Radio, took a bath, greeted Dick when I got out, did laundry, cleaned up my rooma little, folded some clothes, and read some of my book. I was feeling fine and was kind of proud of myself for being so productive.
And then my Mom came home. I think from now on she should be refered to as the Evil Bitch-Monster of Death! (Go Buffy! *thumbs up*)
Eh, I won't drag out all the details but suffice to say, she flipped out big time last night when I broke the news to her, and today she was up to her old tricks, thinking she knows more then I do about how to take care of me. We had an hour long knock down drag out fight. (That seems to be the only type of disagreements we are capable of having.) And she of course made me feel bad and told me I was misinterpretting everything she said. Claimed she knew what was best for me while at the same time admitting she knows nothing about depression or how to deal with it. As usual we chalked it all up to communication problems, which really were half the reason for this disagreement, and eventually ended ona positive note saying we'd try to be more considerate of one another in the future. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!
But I still feel bad. As usual all it takes is one harsh word from her and my self-esteem drops dismally low. This is why I need to move out, because she has too much of an affect on me. This is why I need a therapist, because I need to learn how not to take her so seriously. This is why I will not talk to her again after i move out. Because ironically enough, I don't think I will be able to repair the damage she has done if she is in my life. In order for me to forgive her, I can't have her in my life.
