Like to Eat my Friends
Aug. 2nd, 2002 05:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrigirlI am pissed at the computer repair shop I took my laptop to. It was working PERFECTLY before I asked them to fix the hinges. They couldn't fix the hinges, fine I accept that. But when went to turn on my laptop today the screen wouldn't even turn on! There were just these varying strips of color and the damn thing wouldn't boot up! What the hell did they do to my computer?! Now I'm afrid all the images and written work I saved on the desktop is gone which means I may have to retype entire stories and poems, not to mention what little of my portfolio intro I had writen. I'm seething I tell you, but I'm not about to take it back into them to be serviced NO NO!!!! Kirk is a computer genius, I'm gonna see if he can find and fix the problem. If he can't I'm gonna march into the shop and demand that they fix my laptop for free since they are the ones who apparently caused the problem! Mom said she was planning on buying me a new laptop for graduation. Looks like I may need it a little sooner then that.
While reviewing my old journals that I kept the last time I was depressed I realized something. First, that my symtoms are almost immediately relieved when I enter social and supportive environments. I was fine at Regent, fine in St. Vincent's, fine at BMCC, fine at MVA. Social interaction is the form of healing that best works for me. Second I realized that with my elevated moods and recovery come a hightened sense of anger. As I begin to feel better about myself, I stop internalizing my anger and turn it outward onto it's rightful recipients. The recent resurgence of Angry mood icons in this journal are a sign that I'm getting better...I think.
Well I finally got to talk to Derek today! He sounds very busy. He goes to work, outpatient treatment, and AA meetings everyday. His schedule is insane so that's why we could never get a hold of one another. But he was talkative and funny as ever so it sounds like he is doing well for himself. He told me Alan is getting out next week. So of course after hanging up with him I called Alan to confirm the news. Derek was right, Alan says they will be letting him out on Monday or Tuesday, and that we should all get together and have coffee. I think that would be fab and am highly looking forward to it. I'm gonna see if Kirk wants to come along :) Alan also told me that N'hai was back in the hospital. Apparently she got out last week but was readmitted early this week with delusional and psychotic symtoms. Alan says she has been screaming at the floor and behaving very strangely. It's very sad. But the girl has a hard life ya know?
Monica emailed me yesterday to check on my progress. I emailed her back saying there was none. I wanted to start working on my incompletes yesterday, but I didn't and I feel really bad about it. I just have zero motivation. it doesn't seem important in the long run. But I know I need to get them done, so I've decided to try journaling before I start working on them everyday, just so I can get myself in the writing mood. I need to start working towards my goal of financial independence and this is a step on the ladder.
I'm also writing postcards to Gayle and Heather today. Oh, Gayle got the apartment she wanted and is moving in on the 16th. Good for her. Gemma bought a parakeet, so now we'll have a bird and a hamster in the apartment next year. Now All I need is to get some new fish and you can call us Wild Kingdom. :)
While reviewing my old journals that I kept the last time I was depressed I realized something. First, that my symtoms are almost immediately relieved when I enter social and supportive environments. I was fine at Regent, fine in St. Vincent's, fine at BMCC, fine at MVA. Social interaction is the form of healing that best works for me. Second I realized that with my elevated moods and recovery come a hightened sense of anger. As I begin to feel better about myself, I stop internalizing my anger and turn it outward onto it's rightful recipients. The recent resurgence of Angry mood icons in this journal are a sign that I'm getting better...I think.
Well I finally got to talk to Derek today! He sounds very busy. He goes to work, outpatient treatment, and AA meetings everyday. His schedule is insane so that's why we could never get a hold of one another. But he was talkative and funny as ever so it sounds like he is doing well for himself. He told me Alan is getting out next week. So of course after hanging up with him I called Alan to confirm the news. Derek was right, Alan says they will be letting him out on Monday or Tuesday, and that we should all get together and have coffee. I think that would be fab and am highly looking forward to it. I'm gonna see if Kirk wants to come along :) Alan also told me that N'hai was back in the hospital. Apparently she got out last week but was readmitted early this week with delusional and psychotic symtoms. Alan says she has been screaming at the floor and behaving very strangely. It's very sad. But the girl has a hard life ya know?
Monica emailed me yesterday to check on my progress. I emailed her back saying there was none. I wanted to start working on my incompletes yesterday, but I didn't and I feel really bad about it. I just have zero motivation. it doesn't seem important in the long run. But I know I need to get them done, so I've decided to try journaling before I start working on them everyday, just so I can get myself in the writing mood. I need to start working towards my goal of financial independence and this is a step on the ladder.
I'm also writing postcards to Gayle and Heather today. Oh, Gayle got the apartment she wanted and is moving in on the 16th. Good for her. Gemma bought a parakeet, so now we'll have a bird and a hamster in the apartment next year. Now All I need is to get some new fish and you can call us Wild Kingdom. :)
