Falling is Like This
Apr. 22nd, 2002 07:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrigirlHad a completely useless session with Tammy today. I'm beginning to think she isn't a very good counselor. She never knows what to say to me and when she does talk she just tells me things I already know. She suggests techniques that have failed to work for me numerous times in the past, and that I have told her don't work for me! It's like she's not even listening! I don't think I'm going to go see her again next week. I need someone who is actually going to tell me something new! Suggest techniques I haven't failed at before.
And Dr. J upped my meds to 40 Mg. today. He says I should see a marked difference. Humph, we'll see.
Last night was really bad. I've come down with a cold thanks to this insane weather we are having, so I keep having waves of nausea and headaches. I've realized that I really don't care about any of my classes or assignments this term. I don't see what practical use any of them are to me. I know the most obvious answer to that is that they are helping me earn a degree. But what's that degree going to do for me? From what I've seen a Bachelors degree does close to zilch for you in terms of job hunting. One needs a Masters, and after this shitty ass year and my growing dissatisfaction with schooling in general I dont know if I even want to go on to grad school immediately. I'm not even sure I want to finish the BA anymore. All the stress doesn't seem worth it for such minescule pay off. The knowledge of a job well done? The pleasure of knowing that you have met social standards and pursued your degree to the lowest acceptable level? I don't think so.
I know I said I wasn't going to work this summer, but now I'm thinking I might look for a job when I go home. And if I find one I like and enjoy I might just say fuck this school thing and stay home next year, put some money away and take it easy. If not, well theres always another year of this shit waiting for me :(
And Dr. J upped my meds to 40 Mg. today. He says I should see a marked difference. Humph, we'll see.
Last night was really bad. I've come down with a cold thanks to this insane weather we are having, so I keep having waves of nausea and headaches. I've realized that I really don't care about any of my classes or assignments this term. I don't see what practical use any of them are to me. I know the most obvious answer to that is that they are helping me earn a degree. But what's that degree going to do for me? From what I've seen a Bachelors degree does close to zilch for you in terms of job hunting. One needs a Masters, and after this shitty ass year and my growing dissatisfaction with schooling in general I dont know if I even want to go on to grad school immediately. I'm not even sure I want to finish the BA anymore. All the stress doesn't seem worth it for such minescule pay off. The knowledge of a job well done? The pleasure of knowing that you have met social standards and pursued your degree to the lowest acceptable level? I don't think so.
I know I said I wasn't going to work this summer, but now I'm thinking I might look for a job when I go home. And if I find one I like and enjoy I might just say fuck this school thing and stay home next year, put some money away and take it easy. If not, well theres always another year of this shit waiting for me :(
