A Little Later...
Apr. 21st, 2002 04:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrigirlIt's like an hour since I last wrote. I have downloaded all of the songs from "Once More With Feeling" onto Tina's computer and am now listening to them over and over and over again. I love Tara's Song, it is making me happy.
And since it's a lesbian love song I am of course thinking about my same sex love affairs and why the hell I don't want to get with Adrienne, yet I still wouldn't mind making out with, oh just about any guy who might come around.
I'm different when it comes to girls. My relationships with women are more special to me than the ones I have with men. I think about what made my first (and only) kiss with Dannielle so important and why I felt so uncomfortable that night we messed around. Well to answer the first, it was so special because I was in love with her, and to answer the second it was because Heath was there. Kind of spoiled it to have a boy present, and to know that he was the one she was in love with.
I think men are more disposable than women are. I think I'm more open to the idea of having a deep meaningful relationship with a girl. I dont know why, but I'm just so picky when it comes to them, I take my feelings for women much more seriously then I take my feelings for men. Consequently I'm more open to having meaningless flings with boys (or seeing as I'm so emotional, lets just say very short term relationships.) I guess I just expect more from women and less from men. Men are not relationship material, women are.
Thats why it's hard for me to have a fling with a girl or a normal relationship with a guy. That's one of the contributing factors to my relationship with Erin, I couldn't stand not being in love with her. I'm not in love with Adrienne, and she isn't looking for anything serious, maybe that's why I can't bring myself to make out with her.
I ramble too much. Let's listen to Tara's Song again.
And since it's a lesbian love song I am of course thinking about my same sex love affairs and why the hell I don't want to get with Adrienne, yet I still wouldn't mind making out with, oh just about any guy who might come around.
I'm different when it comes to girls. My relationships with women are more special to me than the ones I have with men. I think about what made my first (and only) kiss with Dannielle so important and why I felt so uncomfortable that night we messed around. Well to answer the first, it was so special because I was in love with her, and to answer the second it was because Heath was there. Kind of spoiled it to have a boy present, and to know that he was the one she was in love with.
I think men are more disposable than women are. I think I'm more open to the idea of having a deep meaningful relationship with a girl. I dont know why, but I'm just so picky when it comes to them, I take my feelings for women much more seriously then I take my feelings for men. Consequently I'm more open to having meaningless flings with boys (or seeing as I'm so emotional, lets just say very short term relationships.) I guess I just expect more from women and less from men. Men are not relationship material, women are.
Thats why it's hard for me to have a fling with a girl or a normal relationship with a guy. That's one of the contributing factors to my relationship with Erin, I couldn't stand not being in love with her. I'm not in love with Adrienne, and she isn't looking for anything serious, maybe that's why I can't bring myself to make out with her.
I ramble too much. Let's listen to Tara's Song again.
