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An Uncommon Dialogue
Dec. 30th, 2003 03:11 pmOuter Carla: Hey Inner Carla, it's almost the New Year, do you know what that means?
Inner Carla: No Outer Carla, I do not.
Outer Carla: That means Valentine's Day is coming up!!!
Inner Carla: Not for like, a month and a half.
Outer Carla: Yes, but we must plan for these things. If you don't tell people what you expect in advance for Valentine's Day then you may not get it. So Inner Carla what do you want for Valentine's Day this year?
Inner Carla: The same thing I want every year, expensive jewelry.
Outer Carla: Don't you want a boyfriend to GIVE you the expensive jewelry?
Inner Carla: No, I just want the expensive jewelry.
Outer Carla: Why Inner Carla? I don't understand. If you asked me, I think I'd rather have the boyfriend.
Inner Carla: Oh Outer Carla, you and I want the same thing we just have different ways of asking for it. I want expensive jewelry because it is a token of love. I have no interest in REAL love. Real love is complicated and messy. I just want the token for the token gives one status. It is something to show off to others, it is a sign to the outside world that I am lovable. I don't necessarily want to be loved. I just want everyone to think I am. And it is the same for you, though you may not realize it. You don't really want love either.
Outer Carla: I don't?
Inner Carla: Nope. If you did, why would you ask for a boyfriend for Valentine's Day? You're bisexual are you not? Why not ask for a partner? Why limit yourself to a boyfriend when a girlfriend could convey love just as well? I'll tell you, because you want the status that being loved by a man would give you. In your case, being loved by a woman comes with a whole mess of consequences you have no interest in dealing with right now. But being loved by a man is easy. All you need to do is look nice on his arm and you get all sorts of privileges. The privilege of being thought pretty and desirable by the general public, of being thought worthy of society's love. You don't want TRUE LOVE, you want the acceptance the appearence of love would bring you.
Inner Carla: No Outer Carla, I do not.
Outer Carla: That means Valentine's Day is coming up!!!
Inner Carla: Not for like, a month and a half.
Outer Carla: Yes, but we must plan for these things. If you don't tell people what you expect in advance for Valentine's Day then you may not get it. So Inner Carla what do you want for Valentine's Day this year?
Inner Carla: The same thing I want every year, expensive jewelry.
Outer Carla: Don't you want a boyfriend to GIVE you the expensive jewelry?
Inner Carla: No, I just want the expensive jewelry.
Outer Carla: Why Inner Carla? I don't understand. If you asked me, I think I'd rather have the boyfriend.
Inner Carla: Oh Outer Carla, you and I want the same thing we just have different ways of asking for it. I want expensive jewelry because it is a token of love. I have no interest in REAL love. Real love is complicated and messy. I just want the token for the token gives one status. It is something to show off to others, it is a sign to the outside world that I am lovable. I don't necessarily want to be loved. I just want everyone to think I am. And it is the same for you, though you may not realize it. You don't really want love either.
Outer Carla: I don't?
Inner Carla: Nope. If you did, why would you ask for a boyfriend for Valentine's Day? You're bisexual are you not? Why not ask for a partner? Why limit yourself to a boyfriend when a girlfriend could convey love just as well? I'll tell you, because you want the status that being loved by a man would give you. In your case, being loved by a woman comes with a whole mess of consequences you have no interest in dealing with right now. But being loved by a man is easy. All you need to do is look nice on his arm and you get all sorts of privileges. The privilege of being thought pretty and desirable by the general public, of being thought worthy of society's love. You don't want TRUE LOVE, you want the acceptance the appearence of love would bring you.
