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Dream World
Sep. 27th, 2003 01:03 amTina is asleep on the couch. She's leaving tomorrow.
The Virgin Suicides is on Lifetime. This movie makes my heart hurt. I feel so bad for all the characters because they are all so desperate. The boys are desperate to know the girls, the girls are desperate to be known, but the boys are too scared to even try to get close to them in any meaningful way, and the girls are too socially awkward to help them out. It's so sad.
Although the subject matter kind of fits with the thoughts I've been thinking these last few nights. I've been thinking about loving from afar. I've done alot of that in my life, and to some degree I have to say it's more pleasurable than normal relationships. Having someone to crush on is so exciting. Gives you someone to lavish affection on without the threat of rejection. Allows you all the thrills of the chase: trying to impress someone, that lovely shiver that travels up your spine whenever they are around, that explosion of joy you feel when they say anything to you, it's all so wonderful. So pure. So innocent. All you see are the person's good points and none of their flaws. They are half fantasy, half reality. They are dream and truth rolle dup into one incerible package.
I don't think anyone has ever crushed on me like that. I've never been anyone's fantasy. I've always been so well connected in terms of gossip that if anyone ever had I'm almost positive I would have found out. I am the QUEEEN of the gossip mongerers. I wish someone had. I think it would be cool to be idolized the way I have idolized so many. To have someone feel that kind of intense excitment just because I walk into a room. I wish I could inspire that kind of dream/reality in someone. Ya know what I mean?
PS My brother was fired from his job today. He was prolly gonna quit anyway so he's not all broken up about it.
The Virgin Suicides is on Lifetime. This movie makes my heart hurt. I feel so bad for all the characters because they are all so desperate. The boys are desperate to know the girls, the girls are desperate to be known, but the boys are too scared to even try to get close to them in any meaningful way, and the girls are too socially awkward to help them out. It's so sad.
Although the subject matter kind of fits with the thoughts I've been thinking these last few nights. I've been thinking about loving from afar. I've done alot of that in my life, and to some degree I have to say it's more pleasurable than normal relationships. Having someone to crush on is so exciting. Gives you someone to lavish affection on without the threat of rejection. Allows you all the thrills of the chase: trying to impress someone, that lovely shiver that travels up your spine whenever they are around, that explosion of joy you feel when they say anything to you, it's all so wonderful. So pure. So innocent. All you see are the person's good points and none of their flaws. They are half fantasy, half reality. They are dream and truth rolle dup into one incerible package.
I don't think anyone has ever crushed on me like that. I've never been anyone's fantasy. I've always been so well connected in terms of gossip that if anyone ever had I'm almost positive I would have found out. I am the QUEEEN of the gossip mongerers. I wish someone had. I think it would be cool to be idolized the way I have idolized so many. To have someone feel that kind of intense excitment just because I walk into a room. I wish I could inspire that kind of dream/reality in someone. Ya know what I mean?
PS My brother was fired from his job today. He was prolly gonna quit anyway so he's not all broken up about it.
