Coping

Last nights entries are a fine example of how I cope with shit, or at least, how I cope with shit when I'm online. I write an antry in my journal thinking that I will feel better when I'm done. I finish typing and not long after realize that I do not feel any better and therefore, there must be something more I want to say. So I come back, I write what I'm really thinking, and go away again. Then in order to make myself fell better about all the shit I have just spewed, I go and look for silly stuff to amuse myself with online. Say what's going on, say whats bothering me, distract myself from what I've just said. There it is in three easy steps.

Mom and Laura are both going out of town this weekend. While it'll be nice to have the place all to myself I gotta wonder why the hell they didn't they do this back when I had a boy to get busy with? I swear no one ever leaves the house when I'm in a position to use it to my advantage. And this is particularly ironic since one of the main reasons Josh was feeling uncomfortable with our budding relationship was because he didn't like the fact that I live with my Mom!!!! JESUS!!!! And honestly that is still a point of contention. He thinks I'm being immature and dependent by living at home. All I have to say to that is Hey buddy have YOU ever tried living alone in NYC when unemployed? I think not. Fight over, we have a winner and that would be ME!!!

I'm trying to talk Gayle into getting an LJ. I mean, she leaves feedback all the time, she might as well just get an account so she can keep up with Knox poeple if nothing else. And Tina is considering getting one too. Says she wants a new place to journal since Steffi now reads her SCN journal. She wants a safer more secret place to write. Although I dunno if this is more secret or not, but it sure is safe from Steffi.

Speaking of Knoxians, I am on a quest to identify all the Knoxians past and present who currently possess Livejournals. Friends I need your help! Please grace me with the full names and user names of other Knoxians. I've waded though ALL of YOUR friends lists and have still not been able to pin point all the Knoxers. Sucks when people don't put their names on their journals, (not that I'm any better but thats besides the point!) Help me expand my circle of journals my little beauties, bring me new blood MWA HA HA!!!!!!!

Drift Away - SCN

LOL!

I love it!!! I get the most feedback I've seen in over a month in response to a one line entry!!! Man I should be curt and sarcastic all the time, maybe I'd be more entertaining. But given the fact that this entry is already a good three sentences long you can bet your bottom dollar no one is gonna say jack about it.

As much as I would love to have a great big shin dig while Mom is away, I don't really have the resources for it. That's not to say I don't have chips and alcohol, but I don't have guests. Yup, my three friends here in the city are all shut ins just like me and are just as goodie two shoes as I am. None of us drink, or smoke, or any of that fun stuff. A party with the three of us would be so boring I'm pretty sure we'd all fall asleep. Ooo slumber party :-D

So, I've decided I want a flat stomach again, so today I began excersizing. Back to the good ole leg lifts and sit ups. My body isn't used to doing them any more so my thighs are a little sore, but with practice it should get better. Went on a nice long walk to 64th street this evening. Worked up a nice sweat. Walked right past the IMAX where the NY premiere of "How to Deal" was getting under way. The crowd was pretty sparse which just goes to show that nobody gives a shit about Mandy Moore.

Still sending out resumes. I can only do 10 or so a day because I'm trying not to overwhelm Mike. After all he does have his own job to attend to. It's so hard to get motivated. Yesterday I was so lazy I didn't even send any fax numbers to Mike. And emailing resumes is so fucking scary!!! I'm always afraid that I'm doing it wrong. And you know how I am, if I'm gonna do something wrong I'd rather not do it at all. So...emailing even one resume takes a good deal of pep talking myself.

More news of Teiwaz: He is supposedly behaving well which may win him points with the staff. They're concerned though because he isn't responding to any of his medication. I'm thinking they need to put him on something new. I mean he wasn't responding to his meds at home, what makes anyone think just upping the doses is gonna change anything? I'm hoping they keep him in the sanitarium until they can stabalize him on the meds. His parents have money, they can afford it. Said he missed me. Aw.

Need to get a hold of Mike or Elisabeth and make them do something with me over the weekend. Me no wanna be bored no more :-(

You're Fantasy

I am the Ideal Lover Most people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn down with age. They find themselves disappointed by people, events, reality, which cannot match their youthful ideals. Ideal Lovers thrive on people's broken dreams which become lifelong fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communion? The Ideal Lover reflects your fantasy. He or she is an artist creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment and baseness, there is limitliess seductive power in following the path of the Ideal Lover. Symbol: The Portrait Painter. Under his eye, all of your physical imperfections disappear. He brings out noble qualities in you, frames you in a myth, makes you godlike, immortalises you. For his ability to create such fantasies, he is rewarded with great power.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society

FOUR!!! - SCN

Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
* My own apartment
* A job
* Money
* A significant other

Name Four Scents You Love:
* Magnolias
* Lilacs
* Good cooking
* Vanilla

Name Four People You Know Best:
* Deepa Harimohan
* Tina Browder
* Elisabeth Pacileo
* Gayle Holverson

Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
* Daisy Dukes
* A tank top with a built in sports bra
* A bikini
* Anything backless

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About:
* Cleaning my living room
* If anyone is ever gonna call me for a job interview
* Eating breakfast
* Excersizing

Name Four Things You Did Today:
* Woke up
* Watched Hey Arnold
* Checked email
* Played Powerpets

Name Four Artists/Albums Most People Don't Know You Like:
* Paula Abdul
* Michelle Branch
* Intuition by Jewel
* Wilson Phillips