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That Lovin' Feeling - SCN
May. 22nd, 2003 11:12 amSo I was talking to Mike last night, (not brother Mike, other Mike,) and he was telling me how he'd never loved anyone, not even platonically. And I got to thinking about how I know when I've grown to love somebody. I've had the question posed to me before and I've never taken the time to answer it simply because, at face value it sounds totally stupid!!! Most people think love is this indescribable emotion and that you only know it when you feel it.
But last night I sat down and wrote a short list of all the things I've felt for people I've loved, romantically or platonically, and I found a lot of similarities. Mind you this list does not apply to everyone, just one 23 year old monogomous bisexual Italian girl from NY. Some of the things on the list are meant to be understood only within the context of a romantic relationship while others apply to both romantic and platonic and even familial love.
How you know your in love:
1)You don't want to be with anyone else. Okay obviously this one applies only to monogomous romantic relationships. It doesn't mean that you stop noticing other people or that you stop finding other people attractive. Even if I'm with someone I can still look at Antonio Banderas and say "Hot damn he's a sexy motherfucker!!!" The difference is you have no desire to pursue these other sexy people. You may find others physically attractive, but you don't feel the need to develop the kind of relationship with them that you have with your partner.
2)You are continually delighted by your loved one. At the end of a bad day, they're the one who makes you happy. If they've had a bad day or are in a bad mood, you still find them utterly fascinating. They can annoy you sometimes but even the annoying stuff can be endearing. If they piss you off they are easily forgiven. Whenever you see them they brighten up your day. Their very presence just energizes and excites you.
3)You feel grateful to have them in your life. This can apply to all kinds of relationships. When you love someone you feel SOOOO grateful for them and everything they do for you. If it's a lover, you feel grateful that they are with you instead of someone else, you feel grateful that they have chosen you as their partner. If its a friend you feel grateful to have gotten to know them.
4) You are fiercely loyal to the person. No matter how bad this person fucks up in their life you will stick by them. You will take their side in most arguements, you will try to justify any unjustifiable action they may engage in. This isn't to say you will always agree with them, or that you will never challenge their actions. It just means that in an "us against the world" scenario you will more than likely take the side of your loved one or if you cannot, you will feel very upset that you can't.
5)You want them to be happy. Not the same as actively trying to make them happy. You can want someone to be happy without doing a damn thing towards that end. But usually if you love someone, you want them to have a good life, and vice versa. Therefore when two people who love each other disagree, they will most likely try to find a solution to the problem that will make both people happy.
Wow, looking over this it sounds so simplistic.
I need to call Josh on Friday.
But last night I sat down and wrote a short list of all the things I've felt for people I've loved, romantically or platonically, and I found a lot of similarities. Mind you this list does not apply to everyone, just one 23 year old monogomous bisexual Italian girl from NY. Some of the things on the list are meant to be understood only within the context of a romantic relationship while others apply to both romantic and platonic and even familial love.
How you know your in love:
1)You don't want to be with anyone else. Okay obviously this one applies only to monogomous romantic relationships. It doesn't mean that you stop noticing other people or that you stop finding other people attractive. Even if I'm with someone I can still look at Antonio Banderas and say "Hot damn he's a sexy motherfucker!!!" The difference is you have no desire to pursue these other sexy people. You may find others physically attractive, but you don't feel the need to develop the kind of relationship with them that you have with your partner.
2)You are continually delighted by your loved one. At the end of a bad day, they're the one who makes you happy. If they've had a bad day or are in a bad mood, you still find them utterly fascinating. They can annoy you sometimes but even the annoying stuff can be endearing. If they piss you off they are easily forgiven. Whenever you see them they brighten up your day. Their very presence just energizes and excites you.
3)You feel grateful to have them in your life. This can apply to all kinds of relationships. When you love someone you feel SOOOO grateful for them and everything they do for you. If it's a lover, you feel grateful that they are with you instead of someone else, you feel grateful that they have chosen you as their partner. If its a friend you feel grateful to have gotten to know them.
4) You are fiercely loyal to the person. No matter how bad this person fucks up in their life you will stick by them. You will take their side in most arguements, you will try to justify any unjustifiable action they may engage in. This isn't to say you will always agree with them, or that you will never challenge their actions. It just means that in an "us against the world" scenario you will more than likely take the side of your loved one or if you cannot, you will feel very upset that you can't.
5)You want them to be happy. Not the same as actively trying to make them happy. You can want someone to be happy without doing a damn thing towards that end. But usually if you love someone, you want them to have a good life, and vice versa. Therefore when two people who love each other disagree, they will most likely try to find a solution to the problem that will make both people happy.
Wow, looking over this it sounds so simplistic.
I need to call Josh on Friday.
