I Think I May Have Found the Cure for Depression

[morrigirl]

I just finished reading this horrid erotic romance called Be With Me by Maya Banks. By the way, were you aware that there is an entire arm of erotic romance devoted to menage relationships? I didn't realize getting it on with more than one dude was such a prominent female fantasy. Sounds like too much work if you ask me.

Anyway, Banks is supposed to be a pretty big name in erotic romance, which I find a little baffling considering the book was boring as hell. I actually found myself nodding off in the middle of the climactic sex scene (no pun intended), and it wasn't because I was sleepy. It was because the damn thing was so lifeless and moved at such a lethargic pace I thought it would never end.

But, that's not what I wanted to tell you. No, I wanted to tell you that while reading this book I came across a euphemism for sexual intercourse that made me laugh almost as hard as weeping entrance. The phrase?

"Her body stretched to accommodate him, giving in to his persistent intrusion."

Dude, I broke out in guffaws just typing that! And just think of the combined comedic strength of the two phrases:

He persistently intruded upon her weeping entrance.















*laughs herself into a seizure*

Oh my God, I can't breathe!

Comments

[satinalien.livejournal.com]

*snorts* So good!

[gender-euphoric.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[lightandwinged.livejournal.com]

Now, I will own up to enjoying some erotica when it's not the whole point of the story...when it's, say, a fantasy adventure that happens to have a scene in which two characters make wild, passionate love or something like that.

But the euphemism game never ceases to be amusing. Persistent intrustion is definitely a new one, but I have to say, it's at least more creative than variations on "throbbing member" and "delicate flower."

[greenblackevil.livejournal.com]

LOL

Brilliant. Next time I get a call from a telemarketer I'm gonna say "I don't appreciate your persistent intrusion!"

[morrigirl.livejournal.com]

Thankfully, I have yet to run across the "throbbing member." I know it has been over used in the past, but I have yet to find it in anything written within the last five years or so.

I am, however, getting damn tired of seeing breasts referred to as "globes." I appreciate a good pair of breasts as much as the next guy, and it is my experience that the only ones that even remotely resemble globes are the kind with silicone in them.

[legman666.livejournal.com]

"persistent intrusion."

Damn telemarketers!