The Ultimate Soul Mates
Jan. 25th, 2008 11:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrigirlToday members of Heath Ledger's family released individually composed tributes to the actor. In her tribute, his older sister Kate said "We were the ultimate soul mates." Reading that made me a little misty because it's a perfect description of the relationship I share with my older brother, Michael.
It seems I've been consuming a lot of media recently dealing with the death of a brother. Michael gave me Suzanne Vega's latest album "Beauty and Crimes" for Christmas this year. (It is outstanding! If you have not heard it yet you must go out and buy it right this second.) There's a lovely song on it called "Ludlow Street" about the death of her brother back in 2002. Named after the street on the Lower East Side where he lived, the chorus goes,
This time when I go back to Ludlow Street
I find each stoop and doorways incomplete
Without you there.
That gets me misty too because that's what it was like when Mike moved to Portland. The City wasn't the same.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Michael were to die. How would I react? I know I would cry for months. I know it would feel as if someone had carved out a chunk of my body. Taking him from me would be one of the worst possible things the Universe could do to me. I fear the prospect. And even though we fight and get on each others nerves a lot these days, I never want him to leave. He has been my partner in crime for 28 years. That's a long time. And even though his hair is going grey now, when I look at him I still see the 23 year old college student who took me to the movies every weekend when I was in high school. There are few people in this world who I love more than Michael and I hope I never have to feel the pain Kate and Suzanne feel.
It seems I've been consuming a lot of media recently dealing with the death of a brother. Michael gave me Suzanne Vega's latest album "Beauty and Crimes" for Christmas this year. (It is outstanding! If you have not heard it yet you must go out and buy it right this second.) There's a lovely song on it called "Ludlow Street" about the death of her brother back in 2002. Named after the street on the Lower East Side where he lived, the chorus goes,
This time when I go back to Ludlow Street
I find each stoop and doorways incomplete
Without you there.
That gets me misty too because that's what it was like when Mike moved to Portland. The City wasn't the same.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Michael were to die. How would I react? I know I would cry for months. I know it would feel as if someone had carved out a chunk of my body. Taking him from me would be one of the worst possible things the Universe could do to me. I fear the prospect. And even though we fight and get on each others nerves a lot these days, I never want him to leave. He has been my partner in crime for 28 years. That's a long time. And even though his hair is going grey now, when I look at him I still see the 23 year old college student who took me to the movies every weekend when I was in high school. There are few people in this world who I love more than Michael and I hope I never have to feel the pain Kate and Suzanne feel.
