One Cool Cat
Oct. 20th, 2006 05:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrigirlYes, kiddies, it is time once again to give out the New Yorker of the Month award.
Like last month, I encountered our October recipient on the Bx28 bus. I climbed aboard this afternoon on my way home from work, and headed right for the back of the bus. There, I found three teenage girls sitting in the row of seats across the back, and took a seat in the empty row that occupied the same side as the back door. Across from me sat a guy who didn't look a day over 17. He was wearing glasses, jeans, and a black T-shirt was white lettering across the front that said something to the effect of "Warning: The wearer of this shirt has been known to hit on just about anyone." He was a good looking guy, and I gathered he knew the three teenage girls.
So, we're riding, and at the White Plains Road stop this totally busted up guy gets on. He is weaving about and is obviously drunk. There is blood and several small cuts on his hands, not to mention a huge bloody gash across his forehead as though he'd just gotten into a brawl. I'll Hit On Anyone's cousin had also gotten on at White Plains Road, and by the time Busted Up Dude found his way to the back of the bus, I'll Hit On Anyone had abandoned his seat so he could stand and talk to his cousin. So when Busted Up Dude gave a heavy lurch as the bus began moving, I'll Hit On Anyone made a gesture to the row of empty seats beside me and said in a totally neutral tone of voice, "There's a seat right there."
Busted Up Dude, being drunk and belligerent and all, squinted his eyes at this guy, sneered, got up in his face and said something like "You don't know me." He continued talking shit to this poor guy who was just trying to be helpful, and I realized that if this drunk dude was to get nasty, I was positioned in a spot that would almost guarantee me an accidental smack upside the noggin. Just as that thought went through my head, I'll Hit On Anyone gestured to the seat across the row where he'd been sitting and asked me, "Would you mind sitting over there?" I shook my head, said, "No, not at all," and moved. Then he casually placed himself between me and the teenage girls, and the Busted Up Guy who was still pointing fingers and mumbling shit at him.
Now, this guy was one cool cat. The entire time this drunk dude was talking at him, he kept his facial expression neutral, his body totally open and relaxed, and didn't respond to anything the guy said. But, he did maintain eye contact so the guy knew he was listening, and he reached out his hand to balance Busted Up Dude every time it looked like he was about to fall over.
At some point Busted Up Dude got fed up by not getting a response and tried to exit the bus using the back door. Unfortunately, the bus was about to pull away from the curb so the doors were locked. Busted Up Dude stomped over and tried to forcefully kick the doors open several times, not realizing they were locked. I'll Hit On Anyone casually called out to the driver, "Backdoor!" and, wouldn't you know, the doors opened. Busted Up Dude held them open, and instead of getting off the bus, opted to stand and glare at this guy for showing him up. After a minute or so of glaring, during which the bus could not move because the back doors were still ajar, Busted Up Dude extended his bloody hand to I'll Hit On Anything for a shake. I'll Hit On Anyone simply said, "You're hand is all bloody. You should go take care of that. I don't shake." Busted Up Dude looked befuddled, but finally got off the bus.
Afterward, I over heard I'll Hit On Anyone talking to his cousin, and gathered that he, A) was some sort of medical professional, and B) currently was or had at one time been in the military. So, I guess he was a few years past 17.
Anyway, I'll Hit On Anyone is the New Yorker of the Month for October 2006 for staying cool under pressure, and proving that chivalry is not dead!
Like last month, I encountered our October recipient on the Bx28 bus. I climbed aboard this afternoon on my way home from work, and headed right for the back of the bus. There, I found three teenage girls sitting in the row of seats across the back, and took a seat in the empty row that occupied the same side as the back door. Across from me sat a guy who didn't look a day over 17. He was wearing glasses, jeans, and a black T-shirt was white lettering across the front that said something to the effect of "Warning: The wearer of this shirt has been known to hit on just about anyone." He was a good looking guy, and I gathered he knew the three teenage girls.
So, we're riding, and at the White Plains Road stop this totally busted up guy gets on. He is weaving about and is obviously drunk. There is blood and several small cuts on his hands, not to mention a huge bloody gash across his forehead as though he'd just gotten into a brawl. I'll Hit On Anyone's cousin had also gotten on at White Plains Road, and by the time Busted Up Dude found his way to the back of the bus, I'll Hit On Anyone had abandoned his seat so he could stand and talk to his cousin. So when Busted Up Dude gave a heavy lurch as the bus began moving, I'll Hit On Anyone made a gesture to the row of empty seats beside me and said in a totally neutral tone of voice, "There's a seat right there."
Busted Up Dude, being drunk and belligerent and all, squinted his eyes at this guy, sneered, got up in his face and said something like "You don't know me." He continued talking shit to this poor guy who was just trying to be helpful, and I realized that if this drunk dude was to get nasty, I was positioned in a spot that would almost guarantee me an accidental smack upside the noggin. Just as that thought went through my head, I'll Hit On Anyone gestured to the seat across the row where he'd been sitting and asked me, "Would you mind sitting over there?" I shook my head, said, "No, not at all," and moved. Then he casually placed himself between me and the teenage girls, and the Busted Up Guy who was still pointing fingers and mumbling shit at him.
Now, this guy was one cool cat. The entire time this drunk dude was talking at him, he kept his facial expression neutral, his body totally open and relaxed, and didn't respond to anything the guy said. But, he did maintain eye contact so the guy knew he was listening, and he reached out his hand to balance Busted Up Dude every time it looked like he was about to fall over.
At some point Busted Up Dude got fed up by not getting a response and tried to exit the bus using the back door. Unfortunately, the bus was about to pull away from the curb so the doors were locked. Busted Up Dude stomped over and tried to forcefully kick the doors open several times, not realizing they were locked. I'll Hit On Anyone casually called out to the driver, "Backdoor!" and, wouldn't you know, the doors opened. Busted Up Dude held them open, and instead of getting off the bus, opted to stand and glare at this guy for showing him up. After a minute or so of glaring, during which the bus could not move because the back doors were still ajar, Busted Up Dude extended his bloody hand to I'll Hit On Anything for a shake. I'll Hit On Anyone simply said, "You're hand is all bloody. You should go take care of that. I don't shake." Busted Up Dude looked befuddled, but finally got off the bus.
Afterward, I over heard I'll Hit On Anyone talking to his cousin, and gathered that he, A) was some sort of medical professional, and B) currently was or had at one time been in the military. So, I guess he was a few years past 17.
Anyway, I'll Hit On Anyone is the New Yorker of the Month for October 2006 for staying cool under pressure, and proving that chivalry is not dead!
