Dog Faced Girl
Jan. 11th, 2003 11:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrigirlIt's cold today. And I'm alone again.
Gemma is Larping, Tina is sleeping, Clark is hanging with people who aren't me. And I am all alone in my apartment on a Saturday night wishing that I wasn't.
Pretty Woman is on TV. I'm kind of listening to it. And I'm playing with my dolls. And looking over my scene from Proof.
Yaritza and I had our first rehearsal today. It was okay. She can't act for shit. Gonna be hard to play off of her. She's playing every line with the exact same intention and at the same pitch. She has no sense of the scene's progression. She starts the scene pissed at me not realizing that she really needs to build up to it.
Tried talking to some people online tonight about how lonely I am. Don't think Teiwaz knows what to say. And Thor just told me to piss off. That didn't help the situation any. Just made me feel worse.
Have you noticed I've stopped talking about my feelings? I talk more about events now. Dannielle pointed that out to me once upon a time. There's a point in all my journals when I just stop being candid. When it no longer is about my feelings and thoughts, but about what is going on around me. What's going on with everyone but me.
I stop wanting to talk about me. I think there's nothing to talk about. So many times I sit down to start writing and I stop because I think to myself "what do I have to say thats interesting?"
I like my classes. I go to work. I go to rehearsals. I got to sleep. I eat too. But I don't go out. I hardly socialize. I'm scared of men. I'm scared in crowds. I'm scared of bars. I'm scared of drunk/stoned/rowdy people. Sometimes I wish I wasn't. Sometimes I wish I could enjoy the things frat boys and sorority girls enjoy: the beer the partying the making out with random strangers. I'm just too sensitive for that. And too closed up for anything else. :(
Gemma is Larping, Tina is sleeping, Clark is hanging with people who aren't me. And I am all alone in my apartment on a Saturday night wishing that I wasn't.
Pretty Woman is on TV. I'm kind of listening to it. And I'm playing with my dolls. And looking over my scene from Proof.
Yaritza and I had our first rehearsal today. It was okay. She can't act for shit. Gonna be hard to play off of her. She's playing every line with the exact same intention and at the same pitch. She has no sense of the scene's progression. She starts the scene pissed at me not realizing that she really needs to build up to it.
Tried talking to some people online tonight about how lonely I am. Don't think Teiwaz knows what to say. And Thor just told me to piss off. That didn't help the situation any. Just made me feel worse.
Have you noticed I've stopped talking about my feelings? I talk more about events now. Dannielle pointed that out to me once upon a time. There's a point in all my journals when I just stop being candid. When it no longer is about my feelings and thoughts, but about what is going on around me. What's going on with everyone but me.
I stop wanting to talk about me. I think there's nothing to talk about. So many times I sit down to start writing and I stop because I think to myself "what do I have to say thats interesting?"
I like my classes. I go to work. I go to rehearsals. I got to sleep. I eat too. But I don't go out. I hardly socialize. I'm scared of men. I'm scared in crowds. I'm scared of bars. I'm scared of drunk/stoned/rowdy people. Sometimes I wish I wasn't. Sometimes I wish I could enjoy the things frat boys and sorority girls enjoy: the beer the partying the making out with random strangers. I'm just too sensitive for that. And too closed up for anything else. :(
