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morrigirlI haven't been online much the past couple of days. Mainly because Dick is addicted tothe internet and never gets off! He spent 6 HOURS online today!!!!!!!! And of course he's on in the mornings, prime telephone calling time. I've gotten emails from everyone I know saying they've been trying to call me but the line is always busy!!!!! I haven't been able to get a hold of anyone since Dick came home!!!!!! I'm becoming quite peeved!!!!!!!!
Still haven't spoken to Kirk, however I did find out the specifics of what landed him in the hospital, thanks to Alan. Apparently Kirk restrained himself, injected himself with a lethal dose of heroin, and put a plastic bag over his head. If the overdose didn't kill him, he was hoping to asphixiate. He woke up 12 hours later paralyzed.
Obviously hearing this took my breath away. I knew Kirk was suicidal and he had told me before that he'd always wanted to OD on heroin because it's very easy to do, but his drug dealer KNOWS Kirk is suicidal and has always previously refused to sell him heroin for that very reson!!! So I was never concerned about him getting his hands on it. This sinply floors me. Never realized how far gone Kirk truly is. This goes beyond typical suicidal behavior. You don't make two serious suicide attempts so closely unless you seriously want to die! This is like Jimmy Graham behavior, and I have already gone down that road.
I was hoping Kirk would be my boyfriend. But I don't want a boyfriend who is THAT FUCKING INSANE!!! I may be the pot calling the kettle black but you don't see me tying plastic bags over my head. At least I have one or two goals in life that don't include ending my own existence. Kirk is really troubled, more troubled then I realized. He can't have a girlfriend right now. He can't even take care of himself. He's just struggling to stay alive, and this makes him unreliable, incapable of being there for another. I'll be his friend if he lets me, which he isn't by the way, but I can't date him. He's too much.
In other news, today was my last appointment with Dr. Jonas, YAY!!!!! He raised my dosage to 100 mg and sent me on my way.
I had other things to say. Can't think of them right now. I'll be back when I remember.
Still haven't spoken to Kirk, however I did find out the specifics of what landed him in the hospital, thanks to Alan. Apparently Kirk restrained himself, injected himself with a lethal dose of heroin, and put a plastic bag over his head. If the overdose didn't kill him, he was hoping to asphixiate. He woke up 12 hours later paralyzed.
Obviously hearing this took my breath away. I knew Kirk was suicidal and he had told me before that he'd always wanted to OD on heroin because it's very easy to do, but his drug dealer KNOWS Kirk is suicidal and has always previously refused to sell him heroin for that very reson!!! So I was never concerned about him getting his hands on it. This sinply floors me. Never realized how far gone Kirk truly is. This goes beyond typical suicidal behavior. You don't make two serious suicide attempts so closely unless you seriously want to die! This is like Jimmy Graham behavior, and I have already gone down that road.
I was hoping Kirk would be my boyfriend. But I don't want a boyfriend who is THAT FUCKING INSANE!!! I may be the pot calling the kettle black but you don't see me tying plastic bags over my head. At least I have one or two goals in life that don't include ending my own existence. Kirk is really troubled, more troubled then I realized. He can't have a girlfriend right now. He can't even take care of himself. He's just struggling to stay alive, and this makes him unreliable, incapable of being there for another. I'll be his friend if he lets me, which he isn't by the way, but I can't date him. He's too much.
In other news, today was my last appointment with Dr. Jonas, YAY!!!!! He raised my dosage to 100 mg and sent me on my way.
I had other things to say. Can't think of them right now. I'll be back when I remember.
