Whatever, Whenever

[morrigirl]

I just got back from a very short and unsatisfying lunch break. I wanted to go sit with the J Club, they always eat lunch at noon. I wanted to sit with Heather H, and Gabe, and Jennie O, and everyone else. But Leigh was sitting with them, so I didn't. Instead, I sat by myself waiting for Gemma to come in, hoping she would come sit with me. But when she did come in she went and sat with J Club. And I would have felt alright sitting at the same table as Leigh if Gemma were there with me, but at that point I didn't want to get up and relocate myself. I don't know. I don't want them all to think that I'm only okay sitting with them if Gemma is there too. Although that was once the case, now I feel like I could approach them without her.

I really like the J Club people, but ever since Leigh got back from Japan I just haven't felt like I have the right to hang out with them in the caf. Even though we have supposedly burried the hatchet, she still isn't the kind of person I want to spend my meals with. She never sincerely apologized for having messed around with Wes R. behind my back. Truth is, she isn't sorry about having done it, she's sorry about having gotten caught. Until she sincerely apologizes I can never truly forgive her, and as such can never interact with her on any honest level.

I wish Leigh was still back in Japan. If she wasnt here I'd have another social option open to me. At least she is graduating this year. Then I won't have to deal with her for the rest of my life.