Crack, Crack Everywhere!!!
Feb. 12th, 2002 05:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrigirlI'm not the only one on crack anymore!
Just got finished IMing Kevin, yet again.
He wants to get back together. Well...not exactly. He thinks we should talk and get to know each other better and just take things real slow while I'm away and then hang out when I get home and see what happens.
Boy oh boy, I so do not need this shit! I have a crap load of homework to finish up tonight, we have to prevent Gayle from getting too into Wes cause he's just gonna break her heart. Aside from the fact that we now think he is totally fucking with her! Gemma is sick. Just...BLAH!
I really dont know how to feel about this. I mean I really missed him, dipshit that I am, I did genuinely miss him. Even with everyone telling me I shouldn't and that I should be glad he was now out of my life. I dont know if I missed HIM or if I just missed having SOMEONE! I mean, I didn't even like Wes and then ideas started popping in my head after that kiss and Gayle and stuff. Do I just want someone? Would I be settling for Kevin?
I don't have the answers to these questions.
But I do know that I care. For now I care. So I will talk to him and I will see what happens. I will see how I feel.
Tf it becomes clear that this is not going to work I will not hesitate to lose him. Just like I lost Adam, Sebastien, Dylan, Leigh, even Moses, Dannielle and Clark for a while. When a relationship becomes useless I know how to trash it.
I'm willing to give this a chance because I care too much. Because I want to hold on. Because change is scary. Because I feel like he SHOULD be able to understand me even if at the moment he doesn't.
But I don't want to mother him all the time. I don't want to be his verbal punching bag.
Oh goodness oh goodness. This is too weird. I'll write some more later.
*sigh*
Just got finished IMing Kevin, yet again.
He wants to get back together. Well...not exactly. He thinks we should talk and get to know each other better and just take things real slow while I'm away and then hang out when I get home and see what happens.
Boy oh boy, I so do not need this shit! I have a crap load of homework to finish up tonight, we have to prevent Gayle from getting too into Wes cause he's just gonna break her heart. Aside from the fact that we now think he is totally fucking with her! Gemma is sick. Just...BLAH!
I really dont know how to feel about this. I mean I really missed him, dipshit that I am, I did genuinely miss him. Even with everyone telling me I shouldn't and that I should be glad he was now out of my life. I dont know if I missed HIM or if I just missed having SOMEONE! I mean, I didn't even like Wes and then ideas started popping in my head after that kiss and Gayle and stuff. Do I just want someone? Would I be settling for Kevin?
I don't have the answers to these questions.
But I do know that I care. For now I care. So I will talk to him and I will see what happens. I will see how I feel.
Tf it becomes clear that this is not going to work I will not hesitate to lose him. Just like I lost Adam, Sebastien, Dylan, Leigh, even Moses, Dannielle and Clark for a while. When a relationship becomes useless I know how to trash it.
I'm willing to give this a chance because I care too much. Because I want to hold on. Because change is scary. Because I feel like he SHOULD be able to understand me even if at the moment he doesn't.
But I don't want to mother him all the time. I don't want to be his verbal punching bag.
Oh goodness oh goodness. This is too weird. I'll write some more later.
*sigh*
