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morrigirlThings got a little better last night after I went back to my mom's. When I got there I found a message on the phone machine from Oceana Publishing, a company I'd submitted a resume to the day before. I'm going for an interview tomorrow. Only problem with that is the company is up in Dobbs Ferry, a place that, wouldn't you know it, there is absolutely no convenient way to get to from the Bronx. If by some miracle of God I get this job, it would mean a one hour commute down to Grand Central Station just to embark on another one hour ride back up to Dobbs Ferry. But, whatever, beggers can't be choosers. As of this moment I am so disillusioned, I would accept this job sight unseen, hellish commute and all. Oceana is an international publishing company that specializes in legal material. The position I'm interviewing for is Online Publishing Assistant which, as far as I can tell, will include light editing of online articles, helping with research projects, and updating the website. Unfortunately I have no experience working with legal documents which will work against me as it did at NYU. So the entire goal of tomorrow's interview is to convince my interviewer that I'm a fast learner and will be of great use to them even if I don't have any previous experience. Everyone pray to your higher being of choice this evening that I can find gainful employment and not have to send my soul to the firing squad here at NYIT any longer.
Not long after I got home Other Mike called and we spoke at length. That helped A LOT. He was having a difficult day himself. One thing I will say for Mike, he is the only person on the planet who will listen to me talk when I'm sloppy hysterically depressed. I have other friends who have been depressed and know what that's like, but he's the only one who can relate to battling it everyday for years on end. All the other depressives I know cycle. He and I have been together at rock bottom, or close to it for the last three years. Both of us know we aren't going to get any better, not in this life, so we just try to keep each other afloat.
He told me he still refers to me as his girlfriend because it doesn't feel like anything has changed between us. And he's right, nothing has. Mike and I as friends don't differ in any way from Mike and I as romantic partners. He still calls me every night at 11:00, we still talk about the same shit, we still live in different states. That's why I decided to break up with him in the first place, because I realized there was no difference in our behavior when dating or not. The distance neutralized everything. Didn't matter how we defined the relationship, the distance prevented the development of any sort of intimacy. However, when he comes up to Hofstra in the fall, (and there's a 99.9 % he will,) that's when the differences will start showing themselves. Break ups are really all about physical realities. That's where you feel 'em. But since we don't have much of a physical reality...who knows?
And I went back to the ENT specilist today to go over the results of my CT scan. Boys and girls we have a diagnosis! My chronic sinus infections are the result of a deviated septum! What's a deviated septum you ask? *clears throat* Well, the septum is the wall that divides your nasal cavity in half thus enabling you to breath easily through both nostrils and to expell mucus when you're sick. A healthy septum is midline, dividing your nasal cavity straight down the center. A deviated spetum is one that has shifted away from the center. When Dr. Volpi showed me the CT scan it was totally clear that my septum has veered significantly to the right, all but sealing up my left nostril and rendering it unable to expell mucus. So whereas I might have developed nothing more than your typical winter cold had my septum remained midline, because it deviated all this mucus built up behind it causing my sinuses to keep getting infected. Until this afternoon I hadn't even noticed my left nostril was pretty much nonfuctional. After I talked with Dr. Volpi I put my hand in front of my nose and to my surprise I only felt one jet of air coming out of it. I wonder how long my nose has been running on one engine?
Dr. Volpi said I could do three things, depending on how much the condition was bothering me: 1) nothing 2) stay on a nasal steroid all year long to prevent infection, or 3) have surgery to clear the blockage. Since I'm not having any problem breathing and I'm not keen on having my nose cracked open, I opted for the second option. Dr. Volpi says if the steroids don't work out, then we'll come back to the idea of surgery. Fine by me. I'm glad to finally know what's wrong.
I shall return to my regularly scheduled writing excersises when I'm a little less on edge.
Not long after I got home Other Mike called and we spoke at length. That helped A LOT. He was having a difficult day himself. One thing I will say for Mike, he is the only person on the planet who will listen to me talk when I'm sloppy hysterically depressed. I have other friends who have been depressed and know what that's like, but he's the only one who can relate to battling it everyday for years on end. All the other depressives I know cycle. He and I have been together at rock bottom, or close to it for the last three years. Both of us know we aren't going to get any better, not in this life, so we just try to keep each other afloat.
He told me he still refers to me as his girlfriend because it doesn't feel like anything has changed between us. And he's right, nothing has. Mike and I as friends don't differ in any way from Mike and I as romantic partners. He still calls me every night at 11:00, we still talk about the same shit, we still live in different states. That's why I decided to break up with him in the first place, because I realized there was no difference in our behavior when dating or not. The distance neutralized everything. Didn't matter how we defined the relationship, the distance prevented the development of any sort of intimacy. However, when he comes up to Hofstra in the fall, (and there's a 99.9 % he will,) that's when the differences will start showing themselves. Break ups are really all about physical realities. That's where you feel 'em. But since we don't have much of a physical reality...who knows?
And I went back to the ENT specilist today to go over the results of my CT scan. Boys and girls we have a diagnosis! My chronic sinus infections are the result of a deviated septum! What's a deviated septum you ask? *clears throat* Well, the septum is the wall that divides your nasal cavity in half thus enabling you to breath easily through both nostrils and to expell mucus when you're sick. A healthy septum is midline, dividing your nasal cavity straight down the center. A deviated spetum is one that has shifted away from the center. When Dr. Volpi showed me the CT scan it was totally clear that my septum has veered significantly to the right, all but sealing up my left nostril and rendering it unable to expell mucus. So whereas I might have developed nothing more than your typical winter cold had my septum remained midline, because it deviated all this mucus built up behind it causing my sinuses to keep getting infected. Until this afternoon I hadn't even noticed my left nostril was pretty much nonfuctional. After I talked with Dr. Volpi I put my hand in front of my nose and to my surprise I only felt one jet of air coming out of it. I wonder how long my nose has been running on one engine?
Dr. Volpi said I could do three things, depending on how much the condition was bothering me: 1) nothing 2) stay on a nasal steroid all year long to prevent infection, or 3) have surgery to clear the blockage. Since I'm not having any problem breathing and I'm not keen on having my nose cracked open, I opted for the second option. Dr. Volpi says if the steroids don't work out, then we'll come back to the idea of surgery. Fine by me. I'm glad to finally know what's wrong.
I shall return to my regularly scheduled writing excersises when I'm a little less on edge.
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Date: 2005-04-14 01:09 am (UTC)My day already is nothing but travel and work.
Date: 2005-04-14 01:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-14 02:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-14 04:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-14 05:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-14 11:44 am (UTC)