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A Sad Entry
Dec. 28th, 2003 03:45 amGod it's been days and days since I've written anything noteworthy in here. And while it's almost 4 in the morning, I feel strangely obligated to update before I go to bed.
Actually it's not so strange at all. I've Been wanting to update all day but I kept getting distracted, the sights and sounds of the living room continually breaking their way into my head and taking over my thought process.
Michael and Danielle are back. They got in around 9 this evening, and are staying with us tonight since the people they loaned their apartment to while they were in Portland won't be out until tomorrow. They looked wrecked when they arrived so we sat them down fed them chicken, and proceeded to shower them with Christmas presents. Mom and I won't be getting any from them until later on in the week. When Danielle lost her ATM card they also lost access to any money they might have used to buy us gifts while in Portland. So, they'll do a little shopping over the next few days and then come back with gifts for us.
After presents we all watched SNL and Hoosiers. Rather THEY all watched Hoosiers while I played the Sims.
Been doing that a lot the past few days, getting lost in fantasy world. Don't relish the idea of returning to work on the 2nd. After a week of not needing to do anything I'm not looking forward to to monotony of the library. Day after day, night after night doing the same thing. No wonder no one likes their job, jobs get so old so fast. It's crazy to think that this is my life: library, home, computer, sleep. It's crazy to think that this will continue to be my life for the next few years. That's so depressing. Is this what life is all about? Work to make money to barely get by to make it to the weekend to do nothing to finally die? If that's what this is all about...I don't know if I even want it.
Haven't been able to speak to Other MIke in a few days. That's got me a little on edge. I'm so used to having him there when I need him that when he or I need to disappear for a day or two it's disconcerting to me. I don't have anyone to tell about my day, or anyone to ask about theirs. It's lonesome. It's unhappy.
And as a result of being disatisfied with life and lonely to boot, I've been eating way more than I should. I've fallen into the comfort food trap. There are just so many nice sweet things sitting around the house that no one is eating. So I've been eating them. And they fill me up for a little bit...but then I go right back to feeling empty. So I eat more. Even though I'm not hungry.
I don't want to be here right now.
Actually it's not so strange at all. I've Been wanting to update all day but I kept getting distracted, the sights and sounds of the living room continually breaking their way into my head and taking over my thought process.
Michael and Danielle are back. They got in around 9 this evening, and are staying with us tonight since the people they loaned their apartment to while they were in Portland won't be out until tomorrow. They looked wrecked when they arrived so we sat them down fed them chicken, and proceeded to shower them with Christmas presents. Mom and I won't be getting any from them until later on in the week. When Danielle lost her ATM card they also lost access to any money they might have used to buy us gifts while in Portland. So, they'll do a little shopping over the next few days and then come back with gifts for us.
After presents we all watched SNL and Hoosiers. Rather THEY all watched Hoosiers while I played the Sims.
Been doing that a lot the past few days, getting lost in fantasy world. Don't relish the idea of returning to work on the 2nd. After a week of not needing to do anything I'm not looking forward to to monotony of the library. Day after day, night after night doing the same thing. No wonder no one likes their job, jobs get so old so fast. It's crazy to think that this is my life: library, home, computer, sleep. It's crazy to think that this will continue to be my life for the next few years. That's so depressing. Is this what life is all about? Work to make money to barely get by to make it to the weekend to do nothing to finally die? If that's what this is all about...I don't know if I even want it.
Haven't been able to speak to Other MIke in a few days. That's got me a little on edge. I'm so used to having him there when I need him that when he or I need to disappear for a day or two it's disconcerting to me. I don't have anyone to tell about my day, or anyone to ask about theirs. It's lonesome. It's unhappy.
And as a result of being disatisfied with life and lonely to boot, I've been eating way more than I should. I've fallen into the comfort food trap. There are just so many nice sweet things sitting around the house that no one is eating. So I've been eating them. And they fill me up for a little bit...but then I go right back to feeling empty. So I eat more. Even though I'm not hungry.
I don't want to be here right now.
