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The Dining Room
Sep. 20th, 2003 02:12 amI hate the night.
I keep meaning to clean up my room. But whenever I go in there I just get all anxious, and confused. I don't know where to start or where to put anything. So I just stand there and stare. And then I go back into the living room and sit down. I know I have to clean because Tina is coming, and Mom's having a dinner party on Sunday. But I honestly don't know where she expects me to put everything. All the drawers are full, I don't have any shelves, the space under my bed is jammed, my closet is full, and all of her shit is piled up in the back underneath the windows so I don't even have access to half of my own room. though Mom says that since it's HER dining room, it isn't really MY room, and that she still has say over where I put everything in there. She wants me to put my stuff away, yet she won't give me any extra space to store it. She just says "Find a place." And when I tell her there is no place she says "Well what do you want me to do about it?" She won't let me use any of her closets or drawers, and she won't clean any of her stuff out of the dinging room. So I'm fuct and I'm gonna get yelled at one way or the other, and just thinking about all this makes me feel paralyzed and afraid to touch anything.
I just want to disappear. I don't know what else to do.
I keep meaning to clean up my room. But whenever I go in there I just get all anxious, and confused. I don't know where to start or where to put anything. So I just stand there and stare. And then I go back into the living room and sit down. I know I have to clean because Tina is coming, and Mom's having a dinner party on Sunday. But I honestly don't know where she expects me to put everything. All the drawers are full, I don't have any shelves, the space under my bed is jammed, my closet is full, and all of her shit is piled up in the back underneath the windows so I don't even have access to half of my own room. though Mom says that since it's HER dining room, it isn't really MY room, and that she still has say over where I put everything in there. She wants me to put my stuff away, yet she won't give me any extra space to store it. She just says "Find a place." And when I tell her there is no place she says "Well what do you want me to do about it?" She won't let me use any of her closets or drawers, and she won't clean any of her stuff out of the dinging room. So I'm fuct and I'm gonna get yelled at one way or the other, and just thinking about all this makes me feel paralyzed and afraid to touch anything.
I just want to disappear. I don't know what else to do.
