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Pray for Michael Sullivan
Aug. 12th, 2002 12:34 amMy title refers to the movie Mom, Mike and I went to see this afternoon, Road to Perdition. Absolutely wonderful! Ugh it was funny, and smart, and heartwrenching, and mom and i were crying by the end. We all loved it.
I also bought a new book today. I finished reading Thumbsucker by Walter Kirn last nght. Which of course was great because Kirn is just a master of words. I bought the book 8 months agao and never started it beause I was sure it could never live up to She Needed Me. And while the subject matter is different, no matter how you slice it, Kirn is a fab writer.
So, yeah, I finished Thumbsucker last night, so this afternoon I had to fly over to Barnes and Noble to get a new read. Bought this new memoir called The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel. Apparently, Ms. Nissel kept an online journal during her broke college years. One day a publisher stumbled onto it, and thought it was so hilarious he turned it inot a book. Which is what the Broke Diaries is. A cleaned up version of her online journal. How sweet is thatTo just be jotting down your thoughts and have someone be like, "hey I enjoy the way you think, want a book deal?" Gives all us featured writers something to aim for huh?
I wonder what the point of my online journal would be? I was thinking it could be one of those depression memoirs like Prozac Nation, or Darkness Visible, but that has SOOOO been done. Every writer on earth has gone crazy, entered a hospital, and lived to make money off the experience. Eh, it used to be trendy to kill yourself back in the day like Virginia Woolf, Anne Sexton, or Sylvia Plath, but now it's all about the journey to recovery. What the fuck ever. If this sorry diary ever got published I think I would have to make it the anti-memoir of madness. It would have to detail the many ways I didn't recieve help. It would highlight the lack of care I got at St. Vincents, and the lack of insurence funds preventing me from getting a real shrink or therapist. I would be sure to mention that my suicidal tendancies did not magically disappear after five days in the hospital and my meds don't seem to be relieving anything. I would tell everyone out in literary land the God's honest truth, that depression is not easily treatable, and the avenues advocated for healing are not open to everyone.
On a lighter note, AURELIE MOVED OUT TONIGHT!!!! YIPPY YAY YAY. Now I have my computerized, air conditioned, double bedded bedroom back! At least until Dick comes home.
I'd like to invite Kirk over to spend the night now that I have that bedroom to myself. Oh now don't you go jumping to conclusions! I'm still not ready to get my ho on. I would just like to enjoy the pleasure of falling asleep in someones arms again. Haven't done that in 8 months now. I miss it.
I'm starting to wonder if Kirk is avoiding me. I see him maybe once a week, yet ever since Alan got out they have seen or spoken to each other every single day. Maybe Kirk really isn't as interested in me as I'd like to believe. I keep telling him to call or come over or to lets go out somewhere. And then we don't. Wow, the more I write about all this the more I'm started to think Kirk has been trying to drop me some hints. Maybe I shouldn't call anymore. Maybe I shouldn't email. Maybe he thought he wanted something with me and then changed his mind.
Wow, I wanted to write more but now I'm bummed. Talk to you later.
I also bought a new book today. I finished reading Thumbsucker by Walter Kirn last nght. Which of course was great because Kirn is just a master of words. I bought the book 8 months agao and never started it beause I was sure it could never live up to She Needed Me. And while the subject matter is different, no matter how you slice it, Kirn is a fab writer.
So, yeah, I finished Thumbsucker last night, so this afternoon I had to fly over to Barnes and Noble to get a new read. Bought this new memoir called The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel. Apparently, Ms. Nissel kept an online journal during her broke college years. One day a publisher stumbled onto it, and thought it was so hilarious he turned it inot a book. Which is what the Broke Diaries is. A cleaned up version of her online journal. How sweet is thatTo just be jotting down your thoughts and have someone be like, "hey I enjoy the way you think, want a book deal?" Gives all us featured writers something to aim for huh?
I wonder what the point of my online journal would be? I was thinking it could be one of those depression memoirs like Prozac Nation, or Darkness Visible, but that has SOOOO been done. Every writer on earth has gone crazy, entered a hospital, and lived to make money off the experience. Eh, it used to be trendy to kill yourself back in the day like Virginia Woolf, Anne Sexton, or Sylvia Plath, but now it's all about the journey to recovery. What the fuck ever. If this sorry diary ever got published I think I would have to make it the anti-memoir of madness. It would have to detail the many ways I didn't recieve help. It would highlight the lack of care I got at St. Vincents, and the lack of insurence funds preventing me from getting a real shrink or therapist. I would be sure to mention that my suicidal tendancies did not magically disappear after five days in the hospital and my meds don't seem to be relieving anything. I would tell everyone out in literary land the God's honest truth, that depression is not easily treatable, and the avenues advocated for healing are not open to everyone.
On a lighter note, AURELIE MOVED OUT TONIGHT!!!! YIPPY YAY YAY. Now I have my computerized, air conditioned, double bedded bedroom back! At least until Dick comes home.
I'd like to invite Kirk over to spend the night now that I have that bedroom to myself. Oh now don't you go jumping to conclusions! I'm still not ready to get my ho on. I would just like to enjoy the pleasure of falling asleep in someones arms again. Haven't done that in 8 months now. I miss it.
I'm starting to wonder if Kirk is avoiding me. I see him maybe once a week, yet ever since Alan got out they have seen or spoken to each other every single day. Maybe Kirk really isn't as interested in me as I'd like to believe. I keep telling him to call or come over or to lets go out somewhere. And then we don't. Wow, the more I write about all this the more I'm started to think Kirk has been trying to drop me some hints. Maybe I shouldn't call anymore. Maybe I shouldn't email. Maybe he thought he wanted something with me and then changed his mind.
Wow, I wanted to write more but now I'm bummed. Talk to you later.
