Away

I finally told Mom. Took me two hours to summon up the courage to say "I think I need to be in a hospital." I cried, and told her about how all I do is cry all day and think of how easy it would be to kill myself with her and Aurelie gone all day. She got worried, hugged me a lot which I really needed, made some phone calls, and tomorrow morning we are going to go put me in the hospital.

I'm not sure how long I will be there. I'm thinking two weeks tops, since that's the maximum that most insurences cover. So I won't be updating for a week or so. It's all for the best though. I'm a little nervous, but I don't feel half as bad as I did before when I didn't know how long it would be before I could get my meds again, or find a doctor, or whatever.

Anyway, I want to run a little experiment while I'm gone. I've always been curious as to who actually reads this shit of mine, and now that we have a feedback option I can find out! I would like to ask everyone who reads this journal of mine on a regular basis to drop me a quick line of feedback, just basically stating name, age, and location. If we could have counters on these damn things I wouldn't need to ask, but we don't so I do. Even if you are my friend and I KNOW you read this regularly, write me something anyway! If you are my enemy and I don't know you read this, write me something anyway, I won't hold it against you. If you are a stranger, write me something. Then by the time I get out of the hospital I'll have tons and tons of feedback and it will make me feel loved :)

Okay, enough talking to Clark online and enough fawning over the sweet email Gemma sent me. Time to pull myself up by the boostraps, go to bed, and face tomorrow.

Wish me luck. With any luck, I'll talk to you when I'm better.

Bye.