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When the Student is Ready...
May. 21st, 2002 11:09 pmHi hi,
Just been cleaning my room and listening to "Under Your Spell." I packed up my stereo and some of my winter clothes. Now I have two boxes that need shipping and no money with which to ship them. Oh well, they will just have to clutter my room until I get paid next week. I'm proud of myself for having mustered up the energy to even pack them.
I slept through a lot of the day. I don't know what it was but I just kept falling asleep. 2 hours here, 3 there. Was talking to Gemma today and she is having problems like mine. I wish there was more I could do for her. All I'm really capable of is listening, and even then I don't always have to attention span to REALLY hear what she says to me. But I shouldn't beat myself up. I'm going through a hard time too. I need time to myself. Need to remind myself that I don't have to mother everyone on earth.
Speaking of helping people, I was thinking maybe after I spend a month or two in NYC getting better I may volunteer at like a suicide hotline or something. They always have ads in the back of the Village Voice. Summer after summer I've stared at them thinking I could do that, I could be good at that. So I'm playing with that idea. It would give me something to do with myself over the summer...besides homework.
And I'm beginning to feel all knowledgeable and shit. People have been asking me questions about Wicca all day on the religion forum. Makes me feel smart! I do know my shit when it comes to Wicca, I've been studying it long enough.
I was thinking today about what I want to do with my life, and how one of my main pleasures is sharing my knowledge of Wicca with honest seekers. I did it all through high school, acting as something of a novice spiritual couselor. I was good at it. I only stopped when Clark chastised me for teaching Leigh. He seemed to think all knowledge should remain internal, that I shouldn't be teaching novices.
But I liked it. And as far as I know so did the people I shared my knowledge with. Why did I give up that pleasure?. Just because a guy I liked didn't approve? That's damn stupid. I'm thinking I may want to teach at some point. For real. I'm not sure how or where I'd start, but it's an idea.
And any idea in such a dark time must be considered a gem.
Just been cleaning my room and listening to "Under Your Spell." I packed up my stereo and some of my winter clothes. Now I have two boxes that need shipping and no money with which to ship them. Oh well, they will just have to clutter my room until I get paid next week. I'm proud of myself for having mustered up the energy to even pack them.
I slept through a lot of the day. I don't know what it was but I just kept falling asleep. 2 hours here, 3 there. Was talking to Gemma today and she is having problems like mine. I wish there was more I could do for her. All I'm really capable of is listening, and even then I don't always have to attention span to REALLY hear what she says to me. But I shouldn't beat myself up. I'm going through a hard time too. I need time to myself. Need to remind myself that I don't have to mother everyone on earth.
Speaking of helping people, I was thinking maybe after I spend a month or two in NYC getting better I may volunteer at like a suicide hotline or something. They always have ads in the back of the Village Voice. Summer after summer I've stared at them thinking I could do that, I could be good at that. So I'm playing with that idea. It would give me something to do with myself over the summer...besides homework.
And I'm beginning to feel all knowledgeable and shit. People have been asking me questions about Wicca all day on the religion forum. Makes me feel smart! I do know my shit when it comes to Wicca, I've been studying it long enough.
I was thinking today about what I want to do with my life, and how one of my main pleasures is sharing my knowledge of Wicca with honest seekers. I did it all through high school, acting as something of a novice spiritual couselor. I was good at it. I only stopped when Clark chastised me for teaching Leigh. He seemed to think all knowledge should remain internal, that I shouldn't be teaching novices.
But I liked it. And as far as I know so did the people I shared my knowledge with. Why did I give up that pleasure?. Just because a guy I liked didn't approve? That's damn stupid. I'm thinking I may want to teach at some point. For real. I'm not sure how or where I'd start, but it's an idea.
And any idea in such a dark time must be considered a gem.
