Crush with Eyeliner

Well just had a very interesting lunch with Gemma, Will, Tom and Heather Holmquest, Wes Williams's sort of girlfriend that I didnt know he had...oops!

Heather was bitching because Wes has apparently been an ass lately. He and Mary Morales apparently had a thing a while back. An open relationship thing (which I totally dint know about.) And Heather says he is still not over Mary. Heather is head over heels in love with him and he still devotes more time to Mary and refuses to commit to Heather. It was so sad hearing her talk about this because it is all so typical. This is usual freshman/sophomoric drama, it happens to every one and it seems so dire at the time. My heart went out to the girl.

Even though we had just met I wondered if I should tell her that the object of her affection had paid me to make out with him the other day. I'm real upfront about stuff like that. But Gemma told me not to do it, that it would just upset her more. And since Gemma knows Heather better then I do, I listened to her.

Other then that it's been a big couple days of nothing. I actually got up for philosophy class today. Yippy for me. Tina got 3 pieces into the Spring issue of Catch. I'm all nervous now. I wish they would get the writing notifications out already! I'm preparing myself for a nice cordial rejection letter.

Oh looky Kevin just IMed me. Guess I'll see what he is up to.

Bye ya!!!!!

Crazy Ass Weird Shit!

There has been some crazy ass weird shit going on today.

Hmmm lets see, last I left you I was going to talk to Kevin. Well I wound up telling him about this online diary and telling him he could read it. I dont know what it was but he got all upset and was apologizing left and right, saying he wished he had gotten to know me better rather then bailing the minute shit got tough. And he was all like, "Oh I've totally screwed stuff up now." He said these journals were very insightful. I like em. I never knew they might be meaningful to anyone else.

But.....YYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!! Ha ha I made him actually FEEL something!!!!! This is what I wanted. Let the little shit feel guilty. I could have loved him unconditionally and accepted all his short comings if only he had been mature enough to do the same for me. At least he's realizing what he lost. That's more than any of my other exs have ever realized. Well thats not true. A few of them realized it several years after we had broken up, long after I had gotten over them. And by the time they realized their mistake I just wasnt into them anymore and the chance was missed.

But I'm not about to play ball. No no no, he broke up with me for a really dumb reason. And I'm not about to let someone who flips at the first sign of trouble back into my romantic affections. Oh NO. I think I'm finally starting to realize that I really DO deserve someone better then that. And I think that someone is out there just like Danielle and Clark said. He's just still forming. He's out there having all the experiences and changes that will turn him into the person I'm going to love when the time is right.

Ooo pleasant thoughts :) But enough day dreaming....

I got my story workshopped in class today, Theievs Like Us. It got really good feed back. Robin said the narrative is very strong. As per usual we got down to line by line analysis because the structure was so strong. And Robin got nit picky, always a good sign. The class said all the dialogue and interactions are very believable. And many of them think there is some sort of romantic connection between Cella and Lita. Of course that is not what I intended at all, but I dont mind it. That reading actually works and underlines the point I'm trying to make. And it will make the scene in the gay bar more realistic when I finally get around to writing it.

In class today I was remembering how much I love writing. As much as I bitch and moan I love all the reading I have to do this term, all the stories I have to write, all the poems and papers (even though Hord just tacked a midterm take home test onto the syllabus, ick.) This is what I do. I write. It's what I love more then anything else in the world. AND I'M GOOD AT IT. I AM!!!! All of my fiction teachers keep affirming this. I have a gift, a talent and it needs to be nurtured.

By the way I should try to remember to revise my Jane Eyre paper sometime this weekend. I want to submit it to our online literary journal.