Note to a Generalized "You."
Sep. 16th, 2004 01:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morrigirlI want to talk to you but I can't because you are happy, and your happiness makes me feel worse then I already do.
Your happiness at having made out with a boy we both adore.
Your happiness at having friends and lovers who actually want to spend time with you.
Your happiness at having a job you love.
The more happiness you spread the more petty and helpless I feel. I feel bad for not being happy that you are happy. I feel bad that I am too wrapped up in my own wretchedness to offer you any good will.
I am lonely, disposable, rejected, worthless, emotionally stunted, incapable of developing meaningful emotional connections with others, a head case, your friendly neighborhood psychopath, taken for granted, unloved, scared, weepy, needy, desperate, clingy, and hopeless, among other things.
And unless you are just as miserable as me, I cant feel you. I can't connect. You become just another reminder of all that I am not and all I can never hope to have.
PS: I am scared to write this because I know you will hate me after reading it...if you don't already hate me for being this way.
*starts crying*
I'm sorry. For everything I've done, and everything I haven't.
Your happiness at having made out with a boy we both adore.
Your happiness at having friends and lovers who actually want to spend time with you.
Your happiness at having a job you love.
The more happiness you spread the more petty and helpless I feel. I feel bad for not being happy that you are happy. I feel bad that I am too wrapped up in my own wretchedness to offer you any good will.
I am lonely, disposable, rejected, worthless, emotionally stunted, incapable of developing meaningful emotional connections with others, a head case, your friendly neighborhood psychopath, taken for granted, unloved, scared, weepy, needy, desperate, clingy, and hopeless, among other things.
And unless you are just as miserable as me, I cant feel you. I can't connect. You become just another reminder of all that I am not and all I can never hope to have.
PS: I am scared to write this because I know you will hate me after reading it...if you don't already hate me for being this way.
*starts crying*
I'm sorry. For everything I've done, and everything I haven't.
