You Don't Know How it Feels

[morrigirl]

Gosh I write a lot. It's only because I keep forgetting to include stuff in my previous entries.

Another excersize I came across was to pay attention to how your depression feels physically. What it does to your body. I realized that I tense up around my depression. My shoulder tense, my back, my lower back especially, my face. The constant crying gives me headaches which is basically a tense cranium. I also become stressed which leads to dizzy spells. During really bad periods it makes me unable to hold down food. Before I went into the hospital last year I suddenly became lactose intolerant and was throwing up. Stomach troubles. Basically when I'm depressed my body just gets so tense it teeters on the edge of explosion or implosion. Not much difference really.

When i'm depressed I feel like I'm in the oubliette, like in the movie Labrynth. The place where you put someone to forget about them. It's dark, damp, cramped, and mildewy. You don't know how you got in and sure as hell don't know how to get out. And no one is looking for you. You jut have to sit there and waste away. There is no help.

Okay, enough reflection. Time to install the Blaster protection.

Comments

[afraidofliving.livejournal.com]

That's exactly how I feel now. My body is a damn wreck, my back hurts and I feel generally ill. This isn't helped by the fact that I can't get much sleep.

[morrigirl.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to fend off some very negative thoughts right now. So far I'm doing okay. But I wish I had some one to talk to. How are you dealing?

[afraidofliving.livejournal.com]

Badly....in a word. It's the anger that's damaging me more than anything else. Anger and frustration....and the only person I can take it out on is myself