![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Air Vent
Okay I'm pissed and while normally I would vent my frustration in my SCN journal, this rant is going to be ABOUT the SCN journal, so therefore it needs to be written in a place where SCNers can't read it!!!!
So I wrote an entry the other day, a relatively tame entry, I'd even say it was a BORING entry. And in that entry I passed on a little bit of gossip that Steffi told Tina told me. (Told Gayle and Gemma. :) )
So anyway I get an email from Steffi this morning about the entry. First off I didn't even know Steffi read my journal. Tina must have given her the address cause I know I sure as hell never did! Anyway she wrote that she hadn't expected Tina to pass the information on like that, and that she feels uncomfortable having it posted publically cause, oh, what if Lindsey reads it, then she'll get mad. Mind you she never came out and asked me to delete the entry or make it private. Steffi isn't like that, she only hints. And basically she was giving me a guilt trip because I wrote something down that she hadn't wanted Tina to tell me, even though she never told Tina that she didn't want her to say anything to me.
First off: NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR SECRETS OR ANYONE ELSES ARE SAFE!!!! I learned a long time ago that no one in my immediate group of friends can keep a secret. Me, Tina, Heather, Gayle, NONE OF US ARE TO BE TRUSTED!!!! Unless you explicitly say "Don't tell anyone about this" we assume it's fine to pass on to others. We are gossip whores of the highest degree, we love being all up in each others and everyone elses business. I'm surprised Steffi hasn't figured this out seeing as she's been hanging with all of us for over three years now.
Anyway I resent being made to feel guilty over something that isn't my fault. I wasn't the one who passed the information on when I shouldn't have. Nor do I appreciate Steffi's hints. I believe in being up front about shit. I think we should all be brave enough to say exactly what we mean. I'm not gonna remove the entry unless she flat out asks me to. It's my fucking journal and I'll write whatever I damn well want in it.
And that's the third thing. I am so sick and tired of people razzing me for writing shit in my journal. I mean the SCN journal is basically in internet no man's land. A limited number of Knoxian know where it is and even fewer read it on a regular basis. What should she or Lindsey for that matter, care if a bunch of strangers know their secrets? No one who plays an important role in either of their lives is going to read that entry. And jesus christ it's my damn life! I've told people, I've warned them flat out when they've started frindships with me that I am a memoir writer and therefore they run the risk of having stuff they say and do recorded in my writings simply because I write about my life and if your life bleeds into mine then that makes it fair game. Your life effects me. Things you say and do have an impact on me and I will write about that impact. If you don't want to be written about don't fucking talk to me!!! And/or be sure my friends don't talk to me about you.
Thing is it's only these crazy ass anal retentive people who have a problem with it. I write about Gayle constantly, and i don't always say nice shit about her. Ditto for Tina, ditto for Gemma. But NONE of them have ever told me to not write about them. They make clear the information that is just between the two of us and I don't spread it around. And they also realize that if something bad is happening to them and they are confiding in me, I am going to feel something about it and I am going to need to express it somehow. They let me do it, they don't try to censor me.
I'm sorry if Steffi does not know how to stop the flow of information within a group. Not my problem. In a clique situation your right to privacy only extends as far as your own skill in keeping it contained.
So I wrote an entry the other day, a relatively tame entry, I'd even say it was a BORING entry. And in that entry I passed on a little bit of gossip that Steffi told Tina told me. (Told Gayle and Gemma. :) )
So anyway I get an email from Steffi this morning about the entry. First off I didn't even know Steffi read my journal. Tina must have given her the address cause I know I sure as hell never did! Anyway she wrote that she hadn't expected Tina to pass the information on like that, and that she feels uncomfortable having it posted publically cause, oh, what if Lindsey reads it, then she'll get mad. Mind you she never came out and asked me to delete the entry or make it private. Steffi isn't like that, she only hints. And basically she was giving me a guilt trip because I wrote something down that she hadn't wanted Tina to tell me, even though she never told Tina that she didn't want her to say anything to me.
First off: NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR SECRETS OR ANYONE ELSES ARE SAFE!!!! I learned a long time ago that no one in my immediate group of friends can keep a secret. Me, Tina, Heather, Gayle, NONE OF US ARE TO BE TRUSTED!!!! Unless you explicitly say "Don't tell anyone about this" we assume it's fine to pass on to others. We are gossip whores of the highest degree, we love being all up in each others and everyone elses business. I'm surprised Steffi hasn't figured this out seeing as she's been hanging with all of us for over three years now.
Anyway I resent being made to feel guilty over something that isn't my fault. I wasn't the one who passed the information on when I shouldn't have. Nor do I appreciate Steffi's hints. I believe in being up front about shit. I think we should all be brave enough to say exactly what we mean. I'm not gonna remove the entry unless she flat out asks me to. It's my fucking journal and I'll write whatever I damn well want in it.
And that's the third thing. I am so sick and tired of people razzing me for writing shit in my journal. I mean the SCN journal is basically in internet no man's land. A limited number of Knoxian know where it is and even fewer read it on a regular basis. What should she or Lindsey for that matter, care if a bunch of strangers know their secrets? No one who plays an important role in either of their lives is going to read that entry. And jesus christ it's my damn life! I've told people, I've warned them flat out when they've started frindships with me that I am a memoir writer and therefore they run the risk of having stuff they say and do recorded in my writings simply because I write about my life and if your life bleeds into mine then that makes it fair game. Your life effects me. Things you say and do have an impact on me and I will write about that impact. If you don't want to be written about don't fucking talk to me!!! And/or be sure my friends don't talk to me about you.
Thing is it's only these crazy ass anal retentive people who have a problem with it. I write about Gayle constantly, and i don't always say nice shit about her. Ditto for Tina, ditto for Gemma. But NONE of them have ever told me to not write about them. They make clear the information that is just between the two of us and I don't spread it around. And they also realize that if something bad is happening to them and they are confiding in me, I am going to feel something about it and I am going to need to express it somehow. They let me do it, they don't try to censor me.
I'm sorry if Steffi does not know how to stop the flow of information within a group. Not my problem. In a clique situation your right to privacy only extends as far as your own skill in keeping it contained.