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The Right to Choose
Yesterday, I came across this article on MSN about Ms. Magazine's October cover story titled "We Had Abortions," which will proudly publish the names of thousands of women who signed a petition declaring they are unashamed of having terminated a pregnancy. I'm really glad the SLC bookstore carries Ms. because on October 10th I am gonna be the first person in line to buy a copy! I think this is a marvelous idea and a terrific counter to the outstandingly incorrect pro-life claim that most women who have abortions ultimately regret them.
Right now I am reading "Reading Lolita in Tehran" by Azar Nafisi, a memoir rich in themes, one of which is women's rights in Iran. Nafisi writes about the 1979 revolution and how it curbed her freedoms to such a degree that there were times when she felt she was no longer a real person. When she could no longer wear what she wanted, walk where she wanted, purchase the goods and services she wanted, do the job she loved, she questioned how much of her essential self was still intact, or if that essential self every existed to begin with. Reading this made me appreciate the freedoms that I have. I am grateful I can wear whatever I like, travel anywhere I choose without an escort, read whatever books and publications I like. I have the right to decide these things and, like Nafisi, I wonder how much of what I think of as "Me" would exist if I did not have that option? I read the aforementioned MSN article while I was traveling this train of thought, and it reminded me to be grateful for having the right to choose.
There is a reason the abortion rights movement is called pro-choice. Choice is what it's all about. That's a point I've never been able to fully get across to the few pro-lifers I've heatedly discussed the matter with. Roe v. Wade has nothing to do with morality. It's about living in a country where it is written into the constitution that everyone has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In order for that right to be fully realized we need to have choices, because without them how can we be anything but clones of one another? How can anyone know who or what they truly want or believe or desire when they are only given a single choice? Pro-choice women don't want every woman in the country to run off and terminate her pregnancy. All we want is for women to have a choice in whether or not she wants to have a child.
As most pro-lifers will readily point out, there are a ton of other family planning options. One can choose to abstain from having sex, use birth control, give unwanted babies up for adoption. All are valid, and in many cases, far less intrusive options than abortion. Pro-lifers obviously aren't against giving women choices, they just want to make sure women don't choose abortion. This, like everything else I've gone on about for two paragraphs, is a valid choice, but I don't believe it is effectively accomplished by removing a choice some people find undesirable from the realm of possibility. When you make it impossible for a person to choose a particular course of action, you aren't giving them the opportunity to make an informed decision, and the freedom to decide is one that isn't only spelled out in the constitution but, according to the heavily Christian (as oppose to the moderately or mildly Christian) portion of the population, one that is ordained by God. I don't know how many times Christians have explained to me the spiritual benefit of free-will when faced with the question, why is there suffering in the world? If God is so great, why does he allow people the choice to kill, harm and steal from one another? Why not just remove that option so no one can choose it? According to Heavy Christians (sure, let's capitalize it,) God allows us free will, the option of making what he considers bad or immoral choices, because he loves us and wants us to express and experience ourselves, to live in the world, however we should so choose. On this point, freedom and morality can agree.
Far better than limiting a woman's choices is to make sure she knows what options are available to her. I believe knowledge is power, and therefore, rather than outlawing what many women have found to be a very useful family planning tool, pro-lifers should focus on getting their point of view across to others. If you don't want women to make a particular choice, explain to them why it's not such a good idea. Yes, I am aware that this is already a tool in the pro-life arsenal. I think it is a far more effective and fair minded approach than trying to limit women's freedom. Not that I'm defending people who stand outside abortion clinics harassing the women who go in. Harassment is a form of intimidation is a scare tactic is a round about way of trying to force someone to do what you want them to. It sneers at the specter of choice. A person has a choice when they have been given all available information and has the opportunity to weigh the pros and cons of each and every potential course of action. Women should hear both sides of the argument before they jump to a conclusion. But, if we allow that, then both sides need to learn to be okay when a woman makes the choice they're wishing she wouldn't.
I'll let you in on a little secret, I used to be pro-life. Yup, when I first learned what abortion was back when I was 8 or 9, I knew immediately that it was wrong. It was just so clear cut. Women were killing babies. I didn't understand why my mom and her friends would yell at the TV whenever anyone against the slaughter of helpless children would pop up on the evening news. I imagined how unhappy I would be if my mother had aborted me. For many years after that, I thought abortion should only be made available to women who were victims of rape or incest, or whose physical health would be put in serious jeopardy if allowed to deliver.
It wasn't until high school after meeting and talking to strident pro-choice women that I understood the importance of simply having the right to make that decision. I still viewed abortion as wrong, something I would never EVER choose myself, but that I came to believe should remain legal for those who did consider it an option. It wasn't until I had my first serious pregnancy scare that I found out abortion was an option for me as well. I've never terminated a pregnancy, but I've had scares and during those scares I knew that having a child, even one that would be put up for adoption, was not a conducive choice for me. I was struggling through college, a nine month pregnancy of any outcome would seriously compromise my ability to complete school or support myself after the baby came. Plus, I could not imagine sharing a child with any of the men I was involved with during these scares. I know that most pro-lifers would jump in at this point asking why I just didn't abstain from sex, or use birth control et cetera. And, while I'm not prepared to go into a lengthy defense, for now, I will simply say that shit happens. No matter how careful you are condoms can still break, STDs can still find their way into your body. Women get raped, health concerns pop up. Shit. Happens. And when it does, even despite your best efforts to keep it at bay, you never know what course of action you will find viable until you find yourself in the situation. Thankfully, all my scares were just scares, but I would have had an abortion if I'd needed to. After realizing that, any pro-choice sympathies I may have had fell away. I finally got it. I understood why the choice to have an abortion was so important.
Here I am going on about the choice to live your life as you see fit, and I know there is someone reading this who is thinking, "Well, what about the fetus? Why doesn't s/he get to choose?" Well, unless there has been a groundbreaking discovery in the last couple hours, I'm pretty certain that there is no universal agreement on when life begins. Different people have different opinions, it's a by product of having free will, and people should be able to make choices based on the opinions they have formed, not ones that have been forced upon them.
And there I go, returning once again to choice. That's what this entire entry boils down to for me, recognizing and appreciating the right to choose. The right to information, to follow any religious doctrine, to express yourself in the world however you see fit. The women in the October issue of Ms. have chosen to express themselves in a way that alternately thrills and infuriates. They should be applauded, for they are doing something large pockets of the human race never have the guts to do, living their lives unapologetically.
Right now I am reading "Reading Lolita in Tehran" by Azar Nafisi, a memoir rich in themes, one of which is women's rights in Iran. Nafisi writes about the 1979 revolution and how it curbed her freedoms to such a degree that there were times when she felt she was no longer a real person. When she could no longer wear what she wanted, walk where she wanted, purchase the goods and services she wanted, do the job she loved, she questioned how much of her essential self was still intact, or if that essential self every existed to begin with. Reading this made me appreciate the freedoms that I have. I am grateful I can wear whatever I like, travel anywhere I choose without an escort, read whatever books and publications I like. I have the right to decide these things and, like Nafisi, I wonder how much of what I think of as "Me" would exist if I did not have that option? I read the aforementioned MSN article while I was traveling this train of thought, and it reminded me to be grateful for having the right to choose.
There is a reason the abortion rights movement is called pro-choice. Choice is what it's all about. That's a point I've never been able to fully get across to the few pro-lifers I've heatedly discussed the matter with. Roe v. Wade has nothing to do with morality. It's about living in a country where it is written into the constitution that everyone has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In order for that right to be fully realized we need to have choices, because without them how can we be anything but clones of one another? How can anyone know who or what they truly want or believe or desire when they are only given a single choice? Pro-choice women don't want every woman in the country to run off and terminate her pregnancy. All we want is for women to have a choice in whether or not she wants to have a child.
As most pro-lifers will readily point out, there are a ton of other family planning options. One can choose to abstain from having sex, use birth control, give unwanted babies up for adoption. All are valid, and in many cases, far less intrusive options than abortion. Pro-lifers obviously aren't against giving women choices, they just want to make sure women don't choose abortion. This, like everything else I've gone on about for two paragraphs, is a valid choice, but I don't believe it is effectively accomplished by removing a choice some people find undesirable from the realm of possibility. When you make it impossible for a person to choose a particular course of action, you aren't giving them the opportunity to make an informed decision, and the freedom to decide is one that isn't only spelled out in the constitution but, according to the heavily Christian (as oppose to the moderately or mildly Christian) portion of the population, one that is ordained by God. I don't know how many times Christians have explained to me the spiritual benefit of free-will when faced with the question, why is there suffering in the world? If God is so great, why does he allow people the choice to kill, harm and steal from one another? Why not just remove that option so no one can choose it? According to Heavy Christians (sure, let's capitalize it,) God allows us free will, the option of making what he considers bad or immoral choices, because he loves us and wants us to express and experience ourselves, to live in the world, however we should so choose. On this point, freedom and morality can agree.
Far better than limiting a woman's choices is to make sure she knows what options are available to her. I believe knowledge is power, and therefore, rather than outlawing what many women have found to be a very useful family planning tool, pro-lifers should focus on getting their point of view across to others. If you don't want women to make a particular choice, explain to them why it's not such a good idea. Yes, I am aware that this is already a tool in the pro-life arsenal. I think it is a far more effective and fair minded approach than trying to limit women's freedom. Not that I'm defending people who stand outside abortion clinics harassing the women who go in. Harassment is a form of intimidation is a scare tactic is a round about way of trying to force someone to do what you want them to. It sneers at the specter of choice. A person has a choice when they have been given all available information and has the opportunity to weigh the pros and cons of each and every potential course of action. Women should hear both sides of the argument before they jump to a conclusion. But, if we allow that, then both sides need to learn to be okay when a woman makes the choice they're wishing she wouldn't.
I'll let you in on a little secret, I used to be pro-life. Yup, when I first learned what abortion was back when I was 8 or 9, I knew immediately that it was wrong. It was just so clear cut. Women were killing babies. I didn't understand why my mom and her friends would yell at the TV whenever anyone against the slaughter of helpless children would pop up on the evening news. I imagined how unhappy I would be if my mother had aborted me. For many years after that, I thought abortion should only be made available to women who were victims of rape or incest, or whose physical health would be put in serious jeopardy if allowed to deliver.
It wasn't until high school after meeting and talking to strident pro-choice women that I understood the importance of simply having the right to make that decision. I still viewed abortion as wrong, something I would never EVER choose myself, but that I came to believe should remain legal for those who did consider it an option. It wasn't until I had my first serious pregnancy scare that I found out abortion was an option for me as well. I've never terminated a pregnancy, but I've had scares and during those scares I knew that having a child, even one that would be put up for adoption, was not a conducive choice for me. I was struggling through college, a nine month pregnancy of any outcome would seriously compromise my ability to complete school or support myself after the baby came. Plus, I could not imagine sharing a child with any of the men I was involved with during these scares. I know that most pro-lifers would jump in at this point asking why I just didn't abstain from sex, or use birth control et cetera. And, while I'm not prepared to go into a lengthy defense, for now, I will simply say that shit happens. No matter how careful you are condoms can still break, STDs can still find their way into your body. Women get raped, health concerns pop up. Shit. Happens. And when it does, even despite your best efforts to keep it at bay, you never know what course of action you will find viable until you find yourself in the situation. Thankfully, all my scares were just scares, but I would have had an abortion if I'd needed to. After realizing that, any pro-choice sympathies I may have had fell away. I finally got it. I understood why the choice to have an abortion was so important.
Here I am going on about the choice to live your life as you see fit, and I know there is someone reading this who is thinking, "Well, what about the fetus? Why doesn't s/he get to choose?" Well, unless there has been a groundbreaking discovery in the last couple hours, I'm pretty certain that there is no universal agreement on when life begins. Different people have different opinions, it's a by product of having free will, and people should be able to make choices based on the opinions they have formed, not ones that have been forced upon them.
And there I go, returning once again to choice. That's what this entire entry boils down to for me, recognizing and appreciating the right to choose. The right to information, to follow any religious doctrine, to express yourself in the world however you see fit. The women in the October issue of Ms. have chosen to express themselves in a way that alternately thrills and infuriates. They should be applauded, for they are doing something large pockets of the human race never have the guts to do, living their lives unapologetically.