Feb. 26th, 2010

morrigirl: (Ripper)
Winter makes everyone a little crazy. Some of us more than others. I get really depressed every February into March. Like clockwork. Probably due to lack of sunlight. It doesn't matter how great my life is, in February and March all I see are the deficiencies. Even though I know to expect it, my change in mood always takes me by surprise. Probably because the shift is not subtle. I don't build up to it. Instead, one day it overtakes me in one fell swoop and I'm left feeling hopeless.

It's times like these that I forget I'm not alone. On her Facebook status update today, Elisabeth wrote, "So so tired of winter...spring where are you?" That one sentence reminded me that Elisabeth is going through the same darkness induced emotional bullshit I am. And that made it better somehow.

A couple weeks back the New York Times Magazine ran an article about David Cromer, a successful New York theatre director. In it, the author accompanies Cromer on an outing to buy a suit for his next big Broadway opening. Cromer apologetically notes how sloppy he looks, saying, "This is just another way in which I'm a terrible homosexual...I should have nice clothes, I should be in better shape, I should cook, I should have a nice apartment. I live like a college student. I always have. It's a very arrested thing. It's hard to grow out of that."

I read that quote and had one of those, "Oh my God, I thought I was the only one!" moments. How many times have I lamented the fact that I'm 30 and still live like a college student? How many times have I gone on about how I should own nicer clothes, wear more make-up, or have more than one pair of heels? To know there is a successful, 45 year old man out there who is brow beating himself for all the same reasons makes me feel better about my situation. Because, suddenly, I'm not alone.

Every now and then it's nice to be reminded that we are not alone. Ever. There is always someone in the world who shares your problems, concerns, or interests. There is no circumstance that hasn't been repeated more than once. And that's a good thought to hold on to as Winter slowly gives way to Spring.

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morrigirl

January 2012

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